Settle Down

Part eight

Growing up in Beswick, Ashton Murphy had seen a whole lot of weird stuff happen. His parents had tried to keep him from all of it. They wanted him to remain on the right path. The right path is what they called it. But by the end of primary school, things started shifting. His mother stayed out late at the nursing home. His father drank a beer each night after supper. No one had told him things could change so quickly.

He thinks of when Diane was the one dropping him at school. He thinks of when they drove by the nursing home with the bus and he didn't see his mom's car in the lot. He thinks of every single fight his parents had when they thought he was at school. When Diane used to sleep in his room to be able to study because her lamp had gone dead.

Growing up in Beswick, Ashton Murphy had always looked up to the kids growing up by the water, in the Northern Quarter. When he was eleven years old, Ash saw his mom leave the family home and file divorce papers. She even said she would come back for them kids.

Sitting with his face buried in his hands, bowed head, Ash is trying hard to stop moving but his feet are just doing it all by themselves. He sits straight again, hearing what he mistakes for footsteps down the stairs. His eyes flicker, one hand ruffling through his dark hair before finally standing up. Now he just looks stupid, standing up so straight, waiting for the smallest woman on earth. When he sees his sister coming down the hall, escorted by a colleague, he wants to apologize for coming in here unannounced. But her smile stops him. He sighs in relief before pronouncing her name for the first time in so long, lightly laughing, "Hello Dee".

Diane Murphy, two heads shorter than her younger brother, lets go of a small girl hanging around her neck and shows her to the other nurse before swiping the back of her hand against her forehead. When the door closes and they're finally alone in the nurses' station except for an older lady talking on the phone near the vending machine, Diane pulls Ash close against her body.

"You idiot!" she almost yells, punching him softly in the ribs. "Coming all the way here, I didn't even know you were out. I must stink." She says, still holding him as if he was about to run for the exit.

He half smiles and closes once more his arms around her shoulders. She has got tears in her eyes, and yes, she does smell like baby puke. But that's Dee, always the sensitive one, always holding a kid. While Ash was born with nothing waiting for him, Diane was born with a purpose. She lets go of him, dries her tears on the collar of her dark pink blouse and presses her hand in his, pulling him towards the nurses' kitchen corner.

"Now," she starts, pulling a chair from under the metallic table for Ash to sit on, "dad has been asking for you. For the last few months all we could hear was your name. At some point the kids started thinking it was their dad he was referring to." She laughs, but just a bit. "I didn't tell him, you should just go and get it over with."

Rehab. His father never knew he had spent months in rehab, in and out for a bit, before the arrest. It's not that his dad would be mad about it, he would not yell at Ash for his past, for the fact that he was a coward hiding behind drugs and alcohol for that long. Their father would just blame it on himself. He would say it was all because he wasn't there enough, he would start saying he gave them the wrong example, and then he would think it was because of the divorce. He would use that card a lot, saying that Ash had lost his mother at some point, and that he was too young for that. Then he would cry about it. Then he would think about the fact that she had died a couple years ago and would cry some more. He will never admit it was just because Ash had taken the wrong decisions. Ash was perfect in his eyes.

"Yeah, I need to talk to you both, actually."

She agrees with a nod and rests her hand on her brother's, not letting go of him. It has been way too long since they have been reunited without any of them drunk, high, or screaming. This is too precious.

Ash raises his face again and dares to speak once more, keeping his voice low, like a whisper.

"How are the kids? And, you know," he trails off, not willing to finish the sentence with the word "you", even though that's the main question he would like an answer to. Diane brings both her hands to her face, shakes her head no then finally smile the weakest smile and opens her mouth.

"You know me. But Ava and Ez are alright. He turned three a month ago, I don't believe you'd remember." She says that with ease, as if she was okay with her baby brother' situation. She's not.

While her whole life had just been one single string showing her the way to go, Diane Murphy had known she would jump out of it at times. After she graduated with honors, she had the opportunity to leave and get to a good college. A great college. And that's when she jumped the first time. She had decided Ashton needed her, the kid was only ten at the time. Already she could hear the whispers when their mother would join them in a public place. Already, Diane knew. She decided Ashton was more important, that he needed to be protected. At some point, she even argued with her father to have Ashton to herself. She would find a job and a flat, and they would live perfectly fine in the Northern Quarter. Just like they had wished since they'd been kids. She didn't flip out when their mother died though. She remained calm when her dad started coming home on his knees. She remained still when men looked at her funny in the streets. She didn't even scream when they were being jerks to her. She never argued for anything. She only ever lost it when her baby brother, Ashton Murphy, came home just a bit too late, with a bump on the inside of his arm. "I'm a fucking nurse Ash." Those were some of the very last words that she'd said to him. Repeating them for years didn't seem to have an impact though.

Diane raises her head from the table, still admiring her brother by her side.

"Dad is coming by later today, so if you want to join us for dinner, you know the address. His shift ends at around five. Feel free."

Ash doesn't answer her. He can't quite imagine a dinner with his father that would not go bad. But again, this would be the first dinner where they would all be sober. He shrugs at the idea but still gives his sister a well expected smile, he can't break her heart, not again.