The party she had just entered at eleven p.m on a Thursday had started a couple hours earlier. Hayden looked around, she'd come alone. Now, she hadn't been truly invited to this party, she had only heard of it. She'd seen the text messages overflowing the groupchats she was in and had noticed Jane's name. Jane, Lou's girlfriend. Still-girlfriend ? Don't know, don't care. The stares Hayden had gotten from the bus station until here were barely bearable, the whistles from drunk guys at the bar were too, but the feeling she gets as she enters the pub sober aren't. The music is loud, there's fog everywhere and the smell of weed is thick in the air she breathes. She looks around, not really knowing whether he would be here, hoping certainly. She spots Lou and the others on some stools, gathered around the near side of the bar, she huries then and tends to grab her bag closer as multiple people touch her on her way there.
Lou is recognizable. You'd spot him anywhere thanks to his ginger hair on the top of his head. Not all of his hair is bright ginger though, only the top of it. He wears his hair in a old-fashioned way, shaved on the sides, claiming the 1920s are back to rule. A wide smile appears on his face when the tiny pink-haired girl almost falls at his feet, pushed by the mass of people. He screams, mostly, during his conversation with Hayden then finally stands back, scanning the crowd and happily gestures to some part of the pub before losing his balance on the stool. That's when Hayden spots Ash. He's dancing, no drinks in hand, no joint either. Just dancing, while a brunette all in curves undulates around him.
Some important pop-culture quote from Rihanna that Hayden once memorized is this one : "never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes." Hayden doesn't like Rihanna's music that much but damn, that girl knows things. Staring from her spot near the bar, at that twenty-something wannabe Spice Girl moving all around the dancefloor, Hayden feels like sinking once more. She feels like holding her breath until everything's blank. Why wouldn't she? It's Lou who makes her fall back on her feet when he grabs her wrist in his broad hand, trying to pull her to him before she escapes with a fake smile. "Come on, we both know who I came for in the first place," she shouts before leaving the pub quicker than when she came in.
***
It's one o'clock when she makes it back at the house in Deansgate and the house is already locked down. Everybody' sleeping and Hayden can't get in. It's one o'clock and she is walking to Ash's place. Really, she doesn't feel like seeing that girl, neither does she want to see Ash for that matter, but she is wearing that stupid short skirt on bare legs and it's almost December. The door is never locked at Ash's place, they broke it once when Ash pushed her against it.
***
Ash looks at the brunette once more before locking the bathroom door. The music from the bar is way too loud and he's only managed to remain sober because he's been smoking cigarettes since he came in. The girl comes closer and attaches her hands to his neck, closing the space between her and him. She heaves herself on her heels and starts rubbing her lips along his jawline. Ashton seems calm, he's only hiding the shaking so she won't grasp that there's something going on. "Come on," she says, lifting his hands to her chest, trying to get him to react to her touch.
"Wait, no."
***
It's four o'clock and Hayden is in the kitchen. She hasn't heard anything in the last hour, she hasn't really moved actually. She just sat on that chair opposing the entrance and waited until now. It's only when she gets up in the end, turns on the water and starts scrubbing the dishes in the sink that she hears some steps coming from behind her. The dishes must have been here since he decided to move in with his sister though, they're all so dried.
"Hayden? What are you doing here? What time is it?" The brown haired man says, rubbing his eyes before covering himself with a plaid hanging from a pile of boxes in what used to be the living room.
"I'm obviously cleaning." She answers in a soft voice, her eyes locked on the glass she's holding.
"I get it H. Stop it, okay ? I get it. Stop it!"
He reaches for her arm before she loses her grip on the glass. It goes sinking in the water as Hayden closes her eyes and her fists on the edge of the kitchen plan. She finally turns to Ash, red cheeks covered in tears, the hot water still pouring behind her.
"Fine! I'm sorry." She exclaims, tearing up some more. Ashton closes his eyes, bringing his hands on the top of his head, then shakes them to the ceiling as if he was arguing with God or something. He reaches for the sink, leaning against Hayden and turns off the water.
"Hayden, this- you cleaning. This is just your apology, I get it. At some point you'll find out there is always going to be more dishes to deal with!" He hasn't moved since turning off the faucet, so he just remains there, leaning against her almost. "Look, you'e probably fucking tired. Me too, I haven't slept last night."
Hayden pulls a chair, the yellow one, from under the table and lets herself fall on it, head in hands. She needs to let him speak, let him have his piece. Even if it means speaking of that girl who might still be passed out in his room. Hayden needs to let him have the last word in this.
"When you were with Garrett-" she doesn't move, doesn't ask him where he got that information from, it wouldn't do good to anybody. "You were high. And it happened because we weren't a thing. You were right. Right?" He gives her a look, expecting to hear something. His eyes have got no darkness anymore, they're just so bloody tired. Hayden lifts her chin and weakly nods. So he goes on, "Well, we- I mean, what are we now, right? Cause we still haven't discussed it. Right? So yesterday night, or, you could say about a couple hours earlier, I was with this girl and as she finally got naked, I couldn't do it."
Hayden holds her breath. How long has she been holding it, no one knows, but right now all she knows is she's hoping far more than she ever has. All her hopes are depending on Ashton, and it's almost as if he could feel it, sensing it in her stare.
"So, I wondered why it hadn't stopped you, you know? I mean, why was it stopping me now but not you then? But I was sober and you weren't so, we'll blame it on the drugs and never mention it again, okay ?"
YOU ARE READING
Settle Down
Romance"She came and it was two in the morning. She'd been crying. She started screaming in my backyard. She was yelling for me to let her in while I had never met her before. Mate, she was nuts. She wore that fucking purple dress. You know, the dark one...
