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Drawing of Blaire ---------------------------------
I looked at Dean's car leaving the sidewalk and felt that existential loneliness settle in. I was probably crazy, letting myself get attached to someone so forbidden, so unreachable, I was being unreasonable, but when I looked at him, it all just felt right. My cheeks grew hot, as I remembered how his thumb graced my lips, how he touched me, gingerly and so methodically, as if I was precious porcelain, he made me feel like a girl. Especially last night, I wasn't angry at him for what he did, I was angry at him for what he didn't do, how I wanted him and he just teased me and played with me. I sighed in frustration, what was he doing to me? I was so confused, I didn't like that I became malleable between his fingers, I didn't like that my body wanted him like crazy, I didn't like the power that he held over me.
I took out my phone and dialed my dad who I had not seen since last night. -"Hello sweetheart" he greeted me, and I immediately felt better -"Hey dad, I'm home from school" I assured him, he sounded quite busy and I wondered just how many people got hurt in a small Oregon town, then again, life itself was unpredictable. -"that's great sweetheart, there's food in the fridge so you and Dean don't need to make anything," he said -"It's just me Dad, Dean went out to a friend's" or so he says. -"Oh well remember to lock the doors," I felt the distant worry on his voice, last time I was alone I almost drowned in a river, so I knew this was hard on him for a number of reasons even other than that. -"Mara should come by later tonight, she said she was bringing groceries" he broke the silence, dad and I talked for a little while more before he hung up and went back to work.
I turned around to be greeted by an empty house, my dad was probably going to get home late again today and so was Mara, So I was probably going to be alone all evening. I made sure to lock the door, I wasn't really paranoid but this was the first time I was truly alone at home, in this house.
and now that I was thinking about paranoia, the jocks have yet to launch their attack on me, I expected a full-blown show of attempts to seduce me, but nothing has happened yet. The whole situation has me on edge, watching my back and checking every corner. I took a deep sigh as I remembered what happened today at school, during lunch Joshua asked to speak with me privately, of course, Yada, Steph, and Pearl were extremely against it, but I wanted to play along, or rather play the game too, I mean if I was already a piece in the chess board I might as well not be a pawn.
-"Hey Blaire" Josh's killer smile greeted me, God, how can someone be so attractive, could he match up to Dean? the girls and I were halfway through our meals, when he came to our table bearing such a wonderful smile, as I felt the glares from other girls who were dying to be in my position, who were dying to be on the list, by now though, I was already used to it. I looked at him, honestly, I was still angry at him because he placed me in that stupid list, even if it made me relatively popular, I just thought it was disgusting. -"Go away Lindor" Pearl snarled at him, -"Please go fuck yourself," Steph said with a smile, Yada just glared at him. -"What do you want, Josh?" I asked him, not even bothering to look at him He sighed and hovered over me -"I wanted to talk to you, privately." He requested, specifying the word privately. I looked at him and his expression was apologetic, kind and a perfect reflection of the Josh I met first, so there was a small semblance of him, I bit my lip because I really wanted to say no and to tell him to go fuck himself as Steph had just done, but now my curiosity was peaking. -"Okay" I accepted as I stood up -"What? No, you won't." Pearl commanded in a serious tone, she looked straight at me, her glassy blue eyes concerned, Yada and Steph protested as well, but I was already halfway there to satisfy my curiosity. -"Don't worry guys, it'll be fine" I glanced at Josh, wishful thinking, but I had a feeling that if I made him believe I trusted him, things would go a lot easier for me.
