Under the sheets

Chapter 16; Venomous or poisonous?

She smiled at my suggestion
-"Sure!" She mumbled
She was so radiant today, being nervous around me, that smug and prideful attitude of hers was slowly coming down, she was showing me her true colors, I was awful at reading the mood, but with a little outside help from Pearl I caught on quickly.

•••

-"Oh no! I lost her Pearl I don't even have her phone number!" I cried, feeling sorry for myself.
-"Relax, the place isn't even that big, she'll turn up." Pearl comforted me.
-"why don't you call your mother so she can ask her father for her phone number?" She suggested
-"That's a great Idea! Why didn't I think of that!?" I sang
-"because you're worried, so that filters out the good ideas" she explained
-"a little bit too worried..." She gasped -"That's the girl with the green eyes" she yelled solving the mystery.
I was caught
-"Yes she is!" I confessed to my crimes -"and I get it it's weird she's my stepsister, but I like her and she likes me back so we're...here."
I defended
She laughed
-"you can't really pick who you fall for, that's my stance on the matter anyways..." She said with that slightly melancholic tone
-"So that explains it!"
-"explains what?" I asked, confused
-"jealousy!" She cried delighted.
-"Jealousy?" I asked even more confused.
-"Didn't you read the mood? The face she made when you invited me along? How she was acting around me? She's not lost! She ran away! She was Jealous of me!" She yelled solving the second mystery
-"fine Nancy Drew, I get it, so I'm awful at reading the mood, what does that make me?" I complained,
She laughed
-"A guy!"
I sarcastically laughed.
-"now go find her Romeo while I disappear from the picture, don't wanna cock block you or anything" she winked at me and she went away.

•••

Pearl was definitely a God send.
truth be told, butterflies fluttered in my stomach when I heard Pearl's words, Blaire, you're so cute.
I wanted to tap dance with excitement,
She walked next to me quietly, clinging to my arm.
Then I noticed
-"you left your sweater at my car!" She pressed her lips and sighed.
-"I'm not cold!" She bravely stated.
-"and I'm the pope, it's freezing outside! Why didn't you say anything?"
I took off my jacket and dropped it over her shoulders.
She huddled herself inside of it.
-"you always have to come to my rescue!" She complained.
I thought girls like the shining armor type, but Blaire was always so opposite of everything.
-"why do you always get defensive when I try to help you?" I asked
She frowned.
-"It's not like that!." She wailed.
-"people just, always sacrifice themselves for my sake, shouldn't they be a bit more selfish?" She quietly mumbled.
Her voice broke and my heart started to ache, what happened to you Blaire? Why were you like this.
I pulled her to me.
-"Well, our biggest mission is to always be there for the ones we care about, no matter how big or how small and I care about you so, I'll be there." I comforted her. "Dad told me something like that once" I said reminiscing on the past.

She looked at me with stars in her eyes and tried to hide a small smile from me
I felt like we were getting closer to each other, that was a good sign.
The line to the ferris wheel wasn't long and we where quickly about to take off.

-"From up here is easy to feel untouchable" I murmured, feeling poetic.
-"and unprotected" she muttered
I laughed
-"I'm pretty sure it's safe" I assured her.
She gave me a worried look,
I got slid closer to her,
She looked at me and quickly turned away, adverting her gaze, she was bashful again.
Her copper curls danced in the wind, the night couldn't be anymore perfect, the full moon was beaming, and fully visible, even though the sky was slightly cloudy, the night was cold, but refreshing.

-"This is so picture perfect" she whispered, reaching for her camera and snapping a picture of the moment.
She smiled and that sudden little twinkle in her eyes stole my breath away.
She turned her gaze at me and her lips pressed together in to a line, she blushed and wrinkle he nose, something she often did when she was nervous.
-"what?" She snapped, almost concerned at my prolonged silence.
You, you're beautiful, your smile, the glint in your big green eyes, the way you talk, the way you walk, laugh and even cry, you take my breath away with everything you do.
-"nothing" I simply replied in my haze.
She giggled,
-"I want to stay up here forever" she quietly confessed resting her head on my shoulder.
I knew the feeling.
I took my phone out my pockets and pressed the camera icon, I extend my arm and pointed the camera at us, she looked up slightly and gave a shy grin, I quickly snapped the picture, that was one way of saving the moment forever.
She shook her head, acting disappointed, mocking me.
-"Doubting my photography skills Ms. Blaire?" I taunted
She scoffed
-"of course not, Just leave the photo snapping to me!" She ordered

We walked out of the ferris wheel kart, out of the line crowding the entrence to get on the ride.

-"What do you want to do now?"
She looked at me and grinned,
-"I honestly just want to go back to the car and listen to music!" She replied simply, she was tired of the night, it seemed, I couldn't deny her, even though I was not done with this place.
We walked to the parking lot, and I felt that the evening was slowly coming to a close, I couldn't help but feel bitter, seeing as I wanted to spend more time with her.
I unlocked the car and we where quickly seated, I turned on the car and let her play whatever she wanted.
Between you and me, she had a very weird taste in music.
-"were you jealous of Joshua back back there?" She jabbed giggling innocently, I guess I did made it obvious, but I couldn't help but feel annoyed that I was discovered.
-"Were you jealous of Pearl?" I refuted,
She scoffed, almost annoyed.
-"Please! I'm not some child" she mumbled. -"I'm not going to feel anything over someone I just met and have no idea how I feel about" her words stung.
-"oh that's cool ain't it? That didn't hurt at all. Sometimes you make me feel like I jumped in that river for no reason"
I snapped, instantly regretting my words
She looked at me raising an eyebrow, she chuckled sarcastically.
-"so the real you comes out?" She muttered again.
-"God, you think I owe you because you saved my life? Is that why you're hitting on me? Because you just want to fuck me? because to me, that shit is meaningless, I'll give it to you, just don't play with my feelings." She snapped back.
-"You're brain dead! You're dumb. Now I'm playing with your feelings? Did you just wanted to pick a fight or?" I couldn't believe we where back here again
-"I don't get you Blaire, You kiss me, first, then push me away? This night was perfect and here we are again" I felt tears sting my eyes.
-"I just think it's stupid that you think I was jealous, You're not my boyfriend, I'm not gonna make you stay if you don't want to, pick and choose any girl you want."
She spit
-"And don't even play dumb with me Dean! That night, the fight over the remote, do you remember that? You seemed like you wanted to kiss me too!" She crossed her arms I blushed, feeling defensive.
-"You were the one who assumed I was jealous of what's-his-face, I just think it's pretty fucking funny how you ran away from me and Pearl because you were too much of a coward-
-"I did not run away" she yelled at me at the top of her lungs, the frustration choking on her throat broke my heart, tears tainted her freckles, venom dripping out of our mouths.

...Some things changed we're different but my heart still says redundant things
Can I not think? Will you love this part of me? My lover is a day I can't forget...

The music drove on as the silence grew longer, I was crying so was she, she was hurt so was I, this was on us, we were the culprits of our own demise.

-"This won't work, we keep fighting, we keep being poisonous, basking in our own toxicity, let's just, Stop." She gave up, her words were shattering, her words sounded worse than fingernails on a chalkboard, fork on a plate, millions of glasses shattering.
I shook my head
-"No" I negated
-"No" My fist hit the wheel of the car making her flinch she turned her face at me with tear shot eyes, the music made this moment surreal.
-"Is this what you do? You're just going to give up? Just because you can't be true to your heart? almost as if you're afraid of falling too deep for me, is that it, Blaire? you're scared of the L word aren't you?" I snapped.
-"I'm not scared, I'm-
-"what was that In there then? why do you act like you feel something for me? Walking hand in hand? Kissing?" I accused, My heart was beating fast and my throat sore from the venom, my ears stung, my hands shook, my eyes an ocean, I could only imagine how she was feeling, if she even gave a shit.
-"I don't like this, I don't like being James Dean and Audrey Hepburn a minute and then Bony and Clyde the next." She said, tears stained my jacket now, and I wanted to rip my heart out to feel nothing.
I shook my head.
-"It doesn't have to be that way, we just met! Of course there's going to be more disagreements than bliss, I can't promise that things will always be picture perfect, but-
-"I don't want to talk about this anymore, It's a dead end." She escaped.
I pressed my lips, the music drove on as the silence did too.

That night I learned how perfect we were for each other, how toxic and venomous.
Something unpleasant brewed in my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, were now, roaches.