Surrender Your Heart (Erwin Smith X Reader)

6-Stupid

AN: WARNING This chapter contains a certain degree of violence. Still, I hope you like it.

A couple of months later.

Eren has been kidnapped by other shifters that were infiltrated in the army. These include the Colossal Titan, the Armored Titan and the Jaw Titan. Erwin has planned an emergency saving plan. Mike, Levi, Hanji and you are gathered in Erwin's office to discuss the details.

"This next expedition is going to be big. And also very tough. But I am confident that, even though if we fail, each day we are closer to victory. You will be of great help, (Y/N)" Erwin looks at you directly in the eyes.

You nod. Erwin gives all of you a hand gesture indicating you can leave. They all start to exit Erwin's office. You don't move a muscle. Erwin is organizing some papers until he realizes you are still there.

"(Y/N), is everything alright?" He asks leaving the papers on the table and walking towards you.

"How tough will it be? Come on, don't lie to me" You cross your arms. He sighs.

"I believe this will be the toughest we have ever experienced" you gulp. "You see, recently we have gathered a lot of information all of a sudden and everything seems to be going so fast. But we need to keep up."

"By making things fast, usually they end up wrongly done" He sits at his chair.

"As I said, (Y/N), we need to keep up. We can't afford being left behind. And, as the Commander, it is MY responsibility to make things as right as they can be. So don't worry about that. Because it is not your job. I actually get paid for that, it's amazing." he says trying to make you feel less tense.

"Okay, Erwin, I trust you, just...don't do anything stupid" he chuckles.

"Come on, (Y/N), you know me. Being stupid is not my thing"

You smile warmly at him "That's the problem. I know you so well...Stupid suits you a lot"

"Shut up" he chuckles "Don't distract me, go to sleep" he pauses and stares directly at you. "AND STOP WORRYING, FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER"

You laugh delighted and walk towards the door. Right when you're about to exit he calls you.

"(Y/N)" You turn around and look at him. He is staring at you quietly "You look really good in that uniform"

Your eyes sparkle "I KNOW, RIGHT?" You both chuckle and you finally exit the door.

You are walking through the hallway distracted. 'Wait, was that a compliment? Has Erwin just complimented me? Probably he was just being nice'

You get to your room, you jump onto your bed and hug it.

"Finally. Please, let's not stay away from the other for so long next time. I missed you" You say exhausted.

You lay in bed lost in your thoughts. Until you realize you are lost thinking about him. About Erwin. How he can be so serious when he is working and yet how warm he is when you're both alone. This experience is bringing you two closer. You see each other everyday and you feel very comfortable around him.

'God. No. Please. Not him. Not now' You press your face against the pillow and try to fall asleep, but you just can't stop thinking about him.

..................................................

The Next Day

The gates open. You see the wild nature and the bright sun blinds you for a second. You all start galloping. You are placed at the vanguard, right behind Erwin, as your mission is to attack the titans that approach the group and keep the soldiers safe.

As soon as you get closer to your objectives more and more titans start appearing. You separate yourself from the group to shift and fight the titans. But each time more and more titans confront you, and you cannot fight them all at the same time.

The situation gets out of hand and the groups start to break and spread in a chaotic way in order not to be attacked.

You start feeling nervous. Is this really going to work? You were not ready for an attack of these dimensions. People are starting to die, and you feel tired. You don't know how long you're going to bear it.

You look desperately at Erwin. He raises his hand and doesn't stop screaming "Advance!". He has lost his mind. 'Everyone is going to die and he tells us to advance. This is suicide.' And then, out of nowhere...

"Erwin!!!" You scream. As he was raising his arm again, a titan jumps and bites it, carrying him away. He screams you to advance again. 'I can't believe this. This is not happening.'

Suddenly you stop feeling tired. You feel adrenaline filling your entire body. You furiously start running towards the titan that has captured Erwin. As soon as you intercept him you jump enraged and bite his nape deeply and chop out the meat. You see the titan stops moving and steam starts coming out from his body.

The titan's jaw has stopped making pressure and Erwin's body falls on the ground. You kneel and look at him relieved. He clenches his jaw in pain. His right arm is lost, probably inside the titan's mouth. You gently place a hand under his body and lift him. You start walking slowly and carry him with you. He is looking up directly at your face.

"(Y-Y/N)" he starts talking. You feel pain in his voice. You don't want to look at him. You feel relieved but you're mad at him for being so reckless.

"Not now, Erwin. Save your strength to make us all get the hell out of here and survive" He pauses then keeps going.

"Thank you" you look at him. You have never seen him so weak.

"Shit Erwin. I told you not to be stupid"

As soon as you get back to the group, you are informed that Eren has been saved, so Erwin commands everyone to retreat.

You gently place Erwin's body in a wagon and shift to your human shape. You get on the wagon with him. Once again, you avoid looking at him.

"Commander! You're safe" Hanji rides side by side with us. She seems relieved. Erwin tries to sit up.

"Hanji, I want details about what has happened" he tells her. You tear a piece of your cape.

"We will be delighted to know all the details when we get home, right?" you stress your words. He opens his mouth to complain but you roll the piece of cloth around his shoulder and press strongly. He lets out a groan and lies back again.

Hanji nods and you are left with Erwin. As soon as you realize what has just happened you can't hold the tears. You press your hands filthy in blood against your eyes and start to sob. You feel a warm touch in your cheek.

"(Y/N)" Erwin is looking at you "You're hurt" You wipe your tears and check your cheek. You feel a cut.

"Oh, don't worry, this is just a scratch" you answer kindly and hold his hand. You look at his icy blue eyes and then stare worried at his arm. He can tell you're distressed.

"Don't worry, (Y/N), this is just a scratch" he lets out a soft chuckle.

"You're so stupid" you laugh and tears stream down your face as you rub Erwin's hand.

You both look into each other's eyes silently. He doesn't stop looking at you. You had never seen him this calm and this vulnerable. And he was thinking the same. Then, his eyes start to feel tired and he eventually passes out.

Too late. You are in love with Erwin. You look away to see Hanji staring at you and Erwin with a kinky expression. She lifts her thumb to encourage you. Fuck, she knows. You place your index in your lips for her to keep quiet.

"Gosh. Maybe I'm the stupid one" you whisper to yourself.    

AN: hey guys! I hoped you enjoyed the chapter. I will try to update soon. If you have any suggestions or you would like to propose anything, I'm open to it and I would really appreciate your collaboration. (Y/N) has aknowledged her feelings towards Erwin, but has he done the same? Does he feel that way? How can a love like this survive when they're both kept on the verge of death? See you soon