Love, Amelia

It's Complicated

*1 week later*

I'm sitting on my doorstep in the warm breeze of an August morning, yet I'm shaking. If I'd stayed up all night it would've made no different to my exhaustion. By the morning the bed sheets were in a knot and aside from a fit-full half hour of vivid dreams, I didn't sleep a wink. My brain is constantly searching for any sign that I'm going to be alright. But I know eventually I will be.

Todays my first ultrasound. I am excited. so excited. And at the same time I was scared and I was concerned about motherhood and whether or not I was ready, because I know many of my friends and family would say that I would be too young, which in my opinion, is true, I'm 16 years old.

*******

"Amelia Walters" I hear a nurse call, bringing me out of my day dream.

I raise my hand and follow her into a small room.

The tiny tympanic heartbeat from the ultrasound wand was the only outward sign that a new life had begun within me. I wanted the baby out of me, into my arms. I hated this state of silent lethargy, this waiting, I felt trapped. I wanted to zoom to early winter, to early next year, to the birth. But even before I could think about that, I had to tell everybody. But how? Owens already upset with me - how is he going to take that I'm pregnant as well? And Hunter? I'm scared, scared he's just going to walk away as soon as I tell him.

********
Next day

My stomach knotted up, and before I know it I'm running out of the class room towards the nearest bathroom. I wanted to kill whoever termed it 'morning sickness'. I felt like I had the most terrible hangover all the time. I was nauseous and liable to vomit at the slightest provocation. I couldn't even fill up my car with petrol without the fumes making me wretch and heave. And it lasted all damn day. How could anything so natural feel so bad? It was worse than the gastric flu, because at least you knew it would be over in a few days. This could go on for another seven months. 

Before I can even make it back to class the final school bell rings, and I manage to pick my stuff back up and push past the constant stream of people and make my way to the school field, leaving myself exhausted, hungry and, therefore, totally grumpy. The grass was damp and covered in a thin layer of frost. As I walked my foot prints were imbedded, leading a piece of me in the ground. The field was out of bound this time of the year but I didn't care, it was Friday and the teachers had better things to do with their time.

"Amelia?" A voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I turn around. It was Ava.

"What's wrong? It's freezing, what are you doing out here?" She questions.

"Nothings wrong, okay? Can't a girl get some peace and quiet around here." I snap.

"Geez, okay. Sorry I asked. Do you want to go grab something to eat and maybe talk about it?"

"Can you just leave me alone! Jesus." I snapped.

"No need to be a bitch about it, it's not my fault you're upset."
Tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face.
"Amelia, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have called you out like that."
"No, no, it's not that. It-it's nothings don't worry. I'm.... I'm fine." I say, sniffling into my sleeve.
She furrowed her eyebrows, all of a sudden looking alarmed.
"Lia, you've been sick all week. What's up?"
"Don't worry about it." I say, looking nervously away.
"Amelia, have you had um..... you know?"
I give her a confused expression, unsure of what she was trying to ask.
"Have you....." she pauses "had sex?"
"Why would you ask me that?" I nervously spit out.
"Lia, I think that maybe there's a chance that you're....... pregnant."
I pause.
"It's just a stomach bug." I hesitate.
"Amelia.... I can tell it's more than that."
"I found out a week ago. I'm not that far along" I cry.
I felt Ava grab my hands.
"Hey, you should have told me sooner. I would have been there for you. I promise things will turn out good, okay?"
Okay.