Excavations and Enlightenment (A sequel to "Caveats and Cliches")

Chapter 2: Foul Play

The next morning we all gather in the hotel restaurant for breakfast and to say good bye to Step Mother-in-law. Just before she leaves, she pulls Sarah to the side for a brief conference. She whispers urgently while trying not to look at me. Sarah listens wide-eyed, looking like she's trying not to laugh. After a moment she mumbles something back and gives her step mother's arm a reassuring squeeze. They say their goodbyes and Toby helps her take her bags out to the car.

Sarah has an especially amused look in her eye when she comes strolling up to me.

"Well? What was all that about?" I casually inquire.

"Oh, nothing serious. Apparently she was still just a bit concerned about us not having children. She thought perhaps you were... sterile."

"WHAT??"

My temper flares indignantly and just as I'm about to launch into some artfully crafted expletives to describe my feelings on the matter, the elevator we are waiting for opens and a family with several small children steps out. I bite back my words with a snarl and stomp into the lift. Sarah is still the picture of serenity.

"How can you be so calm? Doesn't she make you crazy with her demeaning manner and backhanded comments?"

Sarah's expression becomes more contemplative.

"I realized a long time ago that if I let her upset me, I was giving her power over me. And you know very well I won't allow someone manipulative to have power over me."

Hmmmm.

Getting back to our room, Sarah gathers some things like she's getting ready to go out.

"Still planning on doing some shopping? I'll go with you." I offer.

"No need. Pema and I made plans to go together. I'm going to meet her at a dojo down the way... besides, you already have plans."

I raise skeptical eyebrows and frown.

"You're going with the boys."

It turns out "going with the boys" means accompanying Easton and Toby to a sporting event. The entire thing is ridiculous. Large men throwing themselves at each other for possession of a ball. The strategy is despicable, and the manner of battle counterproductive. These men are not warriors, despite what they advertise. None of this bothers Toby or Easton, but then, neither of them have ever been in combat. At least Easton makes an effort to engage me, explaining some of the rules and how one company gains dominion over the other. The game becomes more enjoyable about halfway through. With the help of two watery alcoholic beverages called beer, I start forming my own system of attack for the players on the field. I plot moves and counter moves in my mind devising the most effective method of advancement. I relate the approach to the tactical games Easton and I often play in the evenings. It makes the afternoon passable, but I'm relieved when it's all over and we are heading back to the hotel.

Sarah is already there and getting ready for dinner.

"Hello, Dear. How was your day with the boys?"

"I suppose it could have been worse. And you? I'm assuming from the number of bags littering this room your day was a success."

She gives a small laugh. "Yes, I think I found everything I was looking for. Plus I had a really good time with Pema. She's pretty interesting for a human."

I can't help but chuckle at this. So are you, my dear. Sarah continues.

"When I met her this morning she was finishing up a martial arts routine. She has a black belt in karate, but she's also proficient in judo and kung fu, I think. It was really fascinating to watch, she was fighting people taller and heavier than herself, but she was gracefully laying them out. I made a mental note never to get on her bad side."

It doesn't take me long to get dressed for dinner; Sarah and Easton packed me a woefully uncomplicated wardrobe. While I loiter, I peruse Sarah's purchases.

Ew. Plain and industrial strength.

"Eh, not exactly the type of clothing I'm used to seeing on a queen."

Sarah gives me a look.

"The Underground has enough red carpet tailors and stylists to fill the Grand Canyon. What I need is clothing I can work in."

I'm about to ask why she needs to be working at all when I notice a number of tools in the corner. My mouth falls open in surprise.

"Are those... yard implements?"

"Yes, Dear..." She says a bit more sternly. "I can't use the ones for the goblins, they are far too small, and the Labyrinth, the city and the castle grounds all need a great deal of work. I don't know why you are so perturbed. You told me a long time ago that you were trying to improve the life of your subjects."

"By making reparations and improving relations with the other kingdoms after the war, not through manual labor."

Sarah shrugs and says through a barely restrained smile,

"Well, if Goblin Queen doesn't work out for me, at least I'll have a decent shot at being a farmer."

There's a knock on the door and Easton calls that he's ready to leave, so we head out to dinner. It's just Toby, Pema, Easton, Sarah and I tonight and there are no further irritations. Toby's degree is in Chemical Engineering, so he shares some anecdotes about odd professors and a few hilarious lab accidents. These amusing diversions seduce me back into the relaxation of being on vacation.

As we are finishing up, Pema starts glancing at her watch. She heads out first, while the rest of us are chatting and slowly making our way out the door. We are still lingering just outside the restaurant and Pema is at the street intersection. As she turns to smile and wave to us, a black vehicle races up behind her, and screeches to a stop. A massive man in a dark suit steps out, snatching Pema from behind. Her eyes go wide and she gives a panicked shriek that cuts off as the man's hand clamps down over her mouth. We all stare, momentarily frozen by the shock of what we are seeing. Toby is the first to snap out of it, launching into a run toward her. Easton follows a second later, then Sarah and I both race after them. I can already see we are too late. Pema has been deposited into the vehicle and the man is just about to close her in. Before he can, Pema lands a hard kick to his side that throws him off balance. He nearly falls, but quickly recovers, slamming the door and jumping into the passenger seat. The vehicle speeds away just as Toby and Easton reach the corner. We catch a momentary glimpse of Pema's terrified face in the back window before the vehicle disappears into the night.