Excavations and Enlightenment (A sequel to "Caveats and Cliches")

Chapter 9: Not Quite The Greatest Show On Earth

The next morning Sarah begins to enact her plan. The number of goblins in camp quadruples and the amphitheater gets a makeover. Easton, Toby, and I are sent back and forth to the Underground for the most bizarre assortment of items and equipment; while Sarah puts together groups for rehearsal. It's all very surreal, but what really throws me is her request that I participate.

"You want me to...do a part?"

I expect sarcasm, but Sarah turns pleading.

"Please, Jareth? I need one real talent to sell this. Help me, Your Majesty, you're my only hope."

I'm completely blindsided by this earnest appeal. I agree before I even know what I'm getting into.

The next two days are grueling. Each act is decided on and we are tasked with practicing over and over. Sarah calls out instructions like a drill sergeant. Once our individual routines are well in hand, Sarah begins to put them together, giving us cues and an order of performances. The day before the show we run through the entire production several times. We give it our all, but Sarah watches from the seats with a grim expression on her face. Dinner that night is quiet. Everyone is sore and tired, and just a little afraid that if they make a sound, Sarah might send them back to rehearsal. Sarah is brooding, and even I'm leery of disturbing her. She's gone in the morning when I wake up, but makes a reappearance as we are finishing breakfast. Everyone is called to the amphitheater and we run through the show. Perhaps it's the slightest bit smoother, but overall it's the same as it was last night. But this time, Sarah has a smile on her face. She's got something up her sleeve. I don't find out what it is until we are ready to go onstage.

People start to trickle in about an hour before we are slated to begin, and it isn't long before the whole town-complete with the tour group-is in the audience. The goblins and I stand in the wings peeking out of the edge of the curtain, when Sarah addresses us.

"There's going to be a slight change."

I nearly choke when I turn and see Sarah in costume. Thick healed booties, fishnet stockings, a short, tulle-lined skirt with verticle stripes, red velour jacket trimmed in black, a red bowtie and a decorative top hat. The hat and jacket cuffs are striped to match the skirt and the whole outfit is trimmed in gold.

"Where...where did you get that?"

Sarah nibbles at her lip. "Promise not to be mad?"

I scoff and cross my arms. "No."

"The Fortress of Ultimate Darkness." She admits, somewhat uncomfortably.

"The Fortr... Myles place??" I exclaim.

"The room he gave me had this wardrobe full of clothes made just for me...It seemed a shame to waste them."

I'm speechless.

"Anyway, I could see at the dress rehearsal that there were gaps in the production that needed to be filled. We need a ringmaster!"

There's little time for discussion, the curtain is about to go up, and Sarah is already bustling out in front to introduce us.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Underground Productions presents, "Cirque de Psych!"

Oh, brother. My nerves are on edge at the idea of unrehearsed additions to our already sketchy production. But as it turns out, Sarah is an even better entertainer than director. Acting as ringmaster, she weaves our individual parts into a fantastical tapestry of sound and movement.

The knights and tendril jacks put on a joust, and the fireys do a juggling routine of tossing their own appendages. Several goblins do a high wire act (aided by a large accumulation of anti gravs borrowed from the stair tower). Easton and Toby, dressed as clowns, do a comedy sketch (based on a true story of a night they imbibed a bit too much).  A crew of goblins plays drums and adds lighting from behind the scenes.  The crowd is responsive, clapping and laughing enthusiastically. Time for my part; a magic act. Sarah introduces me as the Emperor of Enchantment. Ha.ha. l'll show her. I pull out all the stops, using every illusion in my repertoire. I even ask for a volunteer from the audience. A flighty woman with long blonde hair and voluminous bangs raises her hand. She's sitting next to the man in the enormous hat that we encountered on the mountain side. Perfect. Each trick goes off without a hitch, and I catch the look of approval in Sarah's eye as I make my way off stage.

Next up is an impressive piece where Ludo asks the rocks to form into stunning sculptures. At last we give our grand finale, a fast paced acrobatic routine where all performers again appear on stage, each one to vault a somersaulting goblin to its place in a breathtaking pyramid, then disappear in the wings again. The last goblin on the top carries a sparkler, lighting a barrage of fireworks. It's the first time we have set off the fireworks, of course, so the sound of the first bang startles the top goblin, and with a cry, he tumbles down the side, knocking hard into the other rows along the way. The others fall like dominos and the magnificent fireworks display goes off over a jumbled pile of bruised Undergrounders, rather than a grand edifice.

Fortunately, the whole thing comes off as so whimsical, that the crowd bursts into cheers and gives us a standing ovation. The knights on the jacks, the fireys, and our brothers stream out in front of the heap and give gracious bows. When they have retreated off stage, Ludo comes out, directing smooth pebbles into the hands of the children. Last of all, Sarah and I come out from opposite sides and meet in the middle of the stage to give low bows and throw kisses to the audience. The applause and whistles continue, and all performers join us. We take hands, give a final bow, and the curtain descends, ending the production.

There is something called an after party held at the monastery. It basically involves our crew socializing with the audience. They take pictures with their favorite acts, question us about stunts and congratulate us on a job well done.

Apparently my magic act was quite popular, many of the ladies of the town stop and request pictures with me. I do hope Sarah doesn't get jealous. But, then, she did say I was the real talent... My ego trip is short lived. As I'm smiling for a few photos with the effervescent blonde volunteer, I hear her male companion talking with Sarah.

"When I first took a gander at sparkly Peter Pan and the members of the lollipop guild here, I thought this whole thing was going to be a disaster, but Hooo Weeeee! Y'all put on a good show!"

Sarah just barely stops herself from bursting into uproarious laughter, and I know I am never going to live that down. When the crowd begins to thin and the party is winding down, Kinley approaches.

"Thank you, all, for your wonderful performance. I do hope that you will consider visiting again next year."

Sarah smiles broadly. "Our travels will likely take us far from here, but if we ever come to Bhutan again, you will be the first to know."

Back at camp, the junk ladies have a crackling fire and warm drinks waiting for us. As everyone gathers round, I take a stand to address them. The pyramid goblins look a bit nervous as I begin, but I have only praise for my subjects tonight.

"You have been called upon suddenly to leave home and take on a difficult task for which you had not been prepared. Through out the week, I have seen each one of you work long hours to accomplish what was asked. Our success tonight was all because of your hard work and dedication. You have won the respect and gratitude of your king and queen."

My speech is received with animated applause and whistles.

"To show our appreciation for your efforts, I have come to a decision. Today was a human celebration, but from now on, I declare this day to be an Underground holiday as well, to be marked each year with a goblin festival!"

And the crowd goes wild.