Excavations and Enlightenment (A sequel to "Caveats and Cliches")

Chapter 17: Cry Havoc! And Let Slip The Dogs Of War (Or, In This Case, Goblins)

We sleep in the next morning, making up for the time lost the last couple of nights. As soon as breakfast is over, we dress, donning a suitable amount of armor and weaponry. I take a little time in the war tent making the final decisions about our approach, then we divide the goblins into teams and explain the objectives of each group. Once everything is in hand, we begin to march for the enemy camp. Before we get close enough to be detected, we meet up with the knights. Nothing has changed in the other camp. They seem to be doing nothing more than the day to day tasks of caring for the camp, as if they are waiting for something. It still bothers me that they have stayed put, but we have to press on with the plan. This is where we will separate, so I call Sarah, Toby, and Easton over.

"Does everyone have a crystal?" Nods all around. "Ok, Easton, you are going to lead the frontal assault. Sarah, take your goblins around to the East. Cut off any exit they might have over the lower peak, then press in. Toby..."

Toby looks as sullen as he was last night.

"Toby, you're with me."

"What?" Toby says, just as irritable about the change as he was about the original plan.

"Let's move out."

Sarah and Easton turn to lead their troops. Toby watches them in dismay.

"Really? You're just going to go off and leave me here with the Underground version of Loki?" He glances sidelong at me. "No offense."

I thought it was a compliment.

Sarah and Easton just snicker and wave as they leave. Reluctantly, Toby follows me and we lead our battalion to the west. It takes us another hour to get set up and into position. It's just after noon when Toby and I settle on an outcropping of the second peak to wait for Easton to begin marching his goblins straight into the entrance of the camp.

"So," Toby begins, haltingly. "Why, uh, why did you want me with you? You seem to have everything under control."

"You were less than enthusiastic about our plan to reclaim the staff. So I thought it might be better for you to aid me in the search directly, instead of leading a troop of goblins in the tumult."

"Fair enough. So...what are we going to do?"

"When Easton marches in with his goblins, I'm guessing three things will happen: some of our adversaries will advance to meet them directly, some will converge on the staff to protect it, and others will try to hide in the mountains and foliage to catch us by surprise. Easton's troops will draw them out, and our's and Sarah's will prevent them from leaving the camp. In addition to encircling the enemy, the goblins will prevent them from being covert."

"How?"

"Look! Here they come!"

For someone who has never been in any kind of conflict, Easton cuts an impressive figure.  He's adorned in armor reminiscent of a Roman General, complete with cape.  He stalks up to the camp entrance like an experienced commander. The occupants within need no invitation. As soon as Easton and his petite soldiers come into view, half of our opponents seize rods like the ones Tandin and I fought with and form up against them. Easton stays hovering at the natural entrance and signals for the goblins to attack. The result is undeniably humorous. The defending enemies have no idea how fight pint sized assailants. They are, of course, used to fighting people of relatively the same size as themselves, striking between the head and torso. Any swing of the staff at that height goes right over the goblins' heads, and trying to strike at their level is awkward and ineffective. The ninjas are worthy opponents, however, and they begin adjusting tactics. But the goblins have only just begun their assault. Now they douse the dark clad figures in florescent paints, making them stand out in stark contrast to the rest of the encampment. Others strew them with toilet tissue, effecting an unmistakable mess. No disappearing into the shadows and landscape this time. Bewildered by this bizarre offensive, they are soon overrun, and that is when Toby and I descend. Though about half of our foes are unaccounted for, we start our search for the staff. The tent city that the raiders set up is more complicated than it looked from a distance. We discover a kitchen, a pantry area, and assorted storage. That takes more time than I would like, because we have to search through each rack and container. We don't expect to find anything since these rooms are completely unguarded, but we have to be sure. The next few rooms are just sleeping quarters. We have to hide at the next turn as a couple of enemy soldiers come racing down a corridor. We watch to make sure they don't have the staff, but it seems they are just trying to help their comrades in the foreground.