If you had the option to live or die, which would you take?
Living would make you experience all the good things in life. You could see how it's beautiful. You could go through life changing experiences that could potentially fill your dreams with happiness and gratitude, or, you could go through the most horrible things that cause you to scream at night, ripping your hair out. It will teach you that people only care about themselves and you are expected to be okay with that.
On the other hand, dying would give you a pass from all the stupid, unnecessary drama and crap that happens in life. You would get to experience a world with no pain, and no complications. But, you also wouldn't get a chance to-as much as i hate to admit it-see the joys of life. The stupid, annoying, wonderful joys of life.
As much as i want to leave, i don't want to loose amazing memories that I've experienced with friends, family, girlfriends, boyfriends. It's stupid because when I remember bad times that should kill me inside, my mind drives to the good ones that came along with them.
Take my mum dealing with my sexuality, for example, when i think of all the times she's put me down about it, i want to focus on that and hate her for it, but then, I can't help think about the day of pride. How she hugged me whilst crying telling me that she loves me. She took photos of me, telling me to be careful of the people that hate people like me. She kissed my cheek, wrapping my flag around my shoulders and sent me off on my way to have the best day of my life. When i told her how amazing it was she smiled and laughed. She asked me questions. She looked at my photos, watched my videos. And I thought after that day, she didn't care who i loved but, to my disappointment, she continued to call it weird and strange. I didn't understand. I still don't. Why would my mum prefer me to feel suicidal on letting me be happy?
Now back to that first question, could you blame me for choosing the second option, death. Many of you will choose the second option but, many other will choose the first, because, they don't have it as bad as us guys.
I'm sorry. Don't die.
Not today.
Not ever.
