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Diary Entry

It's 11:00pm on Saturday.
I can't sleep.
I feel stressed and sick from school.

I keep coughing that it distracts my classmates.
I even had to get excused by the teacher
Because I had a coughing fit.

It's so embarressing.
I especially hate it when other people look at you with disgust.
I can't help it.
My parents force me to school
And I can never be absent
Or else I'll have to catch up on work.

But it doesn't even matter.

I still get too much work, regardless.
Schoolwork and projects from my classes take up my day.
I don't see friends anymore.
I don't talk to people anymore.
I shut myself off from the world because I'm too invested in work.

My parents discourage me from playing the piano or drawing.
It's probably for the best.
I can't focus on my hobbies or interests anymore.
It makes me wonder what will become of me in the future.

I wanted to become someone who people could look up to,
Someone who could have a role model to my past self.

Now,
I realize that everyone has dreams,
What they want to be and what they will be,
But it doesn't always turn out like expected, does it?I

Some dreams are unachievable
Or people give up halfway
Because of other circumstances.

In addition,
You think that your friends will stay with you the whole way,
That personalities nor people change.

You'll keep in touch with them...

But it later turns out,
You slowly start to drift apart,
Grow apart,
and never interact the same again.

That,
Or they've changed,
Maybe not for the better.
They've turned into a complete stranger
And they pretend to not know you.
They accept
but it's alien to you.

And the worst part?
There's nothing you can do about it...
That's the part that hurts.

But I guess there might be a solution.
That was then,
and this is now.

There is always time to correct mistakes,
Create new friendships or rekindle old ones,
Prepare for the good or bad,
and take up old hobbies.

Now is the time more than ever
For growth and happiness.
I shouldn't have to worry for what's to come.
Let the challenges run to me,
And watch me take them,
One by one.

See me live my life to the fullest,
And watch me succeed in unexpected ways.

And maybe just one day,
I'll evolve into that someone who others can look up to.
I won't ever lose that hope.
Never.

Author's note:
This was a diary entry that I wrote when I was younger,
And I still hope to fulfill that promise of being a role model for anyone.
Thank you for reading and have a good night.