feel something (analogical)

chapter ten

He asked me that singular piercing question that made me understand just how deeply invested he was in his relationship with Roman.

"Do you think I should make up with him?"

I put down my coffee mug and he looks up from staring at his own.
I've kept my personal opinion to myself this entire time and for him to finally ask what I thought I for once drew a blank.

Of course, i was upset that he liked Roman a lot. I knew he and Roman were also both in an unhealthy relationship. And even then I had a sting bond with Virgil and found myself drawn to him somewhat. But Virgil apologizing to Roman for him being a dick. I could not stand for.

I'm sorry for the language. However this wasn't just sick, this was unjust.
Virgil deserves much better. I can't say I was, or am, but I knew Virgil shouldn't be with him.

~~~

I asked if I should make up with Roman but he stayed quiet for sometime. He put his coffee cup on the table then stayed quiet in thought for almost five minutes.

I was .. Anxious. I felt like I had to ask Roman to forgive me. I didn't know why, I just knew that i was in too deep when he did actually say something.

"Virgil,  I'm going to have to be completely honest when I say this. You aren't his toy. You are your own person, that doesn't have to take the blame for everything he's done." 

His voice was stern and he sounded like.. Like he was trying to fit a paragraphs worth of rabling in a few sentences.

At the time I was kind of upset and confused but I also couldn't fight with the facts. He was right. But I didn't see it.

We.. Talked and I left to my own dorm and I didnt leave it for the next two weeks. Mainly because of winter break but also because me and Logan were in hot water. I feel bad about how stubborn I was being to the truth and Logan didn't deserve it.

We didn't talk for three weeks until Roman returned to me, starting to talk about Logan in a negative way.. I was mad at Logan for thinking lowly of Roman but now i started to see why. Roman was bad.

He read all my messages and emotionally manipulated me all the time. He used me and cheated behind my back in the past.

Logan was right and I can't believe it took me.. three weeks to believe him.

I don't know what he did during that time. Or if it really upset him. He didn't message me either so I didn't know what was going on in his head after telling me the truth.

~~

He didn't see how Roman was hurting him. I had to tell him what was wrong, and he was in denial. He didn't talk to me over winter break and I felt.. I felt horrible.

There was a pain in my richest that I thought was heart burn but what showed me it was feelings were the years shedding down my face while I laid in bed at night. I sobbed and cried myself to exhaustion until I fell asleep.

That happened for the three weeks he was ignoring me for. I didn't understand why I felt that way but I soon realized I was in love with him and I knew he so would never love me back...

Make me feel something, something