Baby Daddy Mendes [COMPLETED]

Chapter 13 - Lost in London

You know that feeling where you're completely happy and you could die in that moment and not regret anything?  That's how I felt right now.  Being here in England on tour with Shawn made me the happiest person on Earth.

Our first stop is an old sweets shop.  Hardly anyone was inside and the people who were, didn't know who Shawn was.  We bought some taffy and ate it as we walked.  Canary Wharf wasn't too far away from where we were so we hopped on a bus that was headed over there.

"I heard there's a really cool roof garden by the wharf," Shawn said.

"Sounds fun to me," I replied while munching on taffy.

The sky was starting to turn a blush color as the bus stopped where we were supposed to exit.  There was a violinist setting up to play when we walked by him.  The wharf was quiet and peaceful as we walked through it.

When we got to the Crossrail Place Roof Garden, we paid for admission and skipped inside. I don't think I've seen a garden more beautiful than this. Wow, it was amazing.

We spent about half an hour gazing at all the magnificent flowers and sights up in the garden before walking back out.

"A rose for the beautiful lady." A man selling flowers outside handed me the prettiest rose I've seen.

"Wow, thank you so much sir!" I accepted it graciously and put it up to my nose. "It looks and smells wonderful."

The man smiled and waved as we walked away. I caught Shawn looked at me, "What?"

"You know he's right, a beautiful rose for a beautiful girl."

I blushed, "Oh stop."

"It's true though." He chuckled and hugged me.

"I know," I grinned mischievously.

There was a little peaceful silence for a while. Then Shawn broke it, "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Sure!"

It was getting a lot colder now that it was dark.  The stars were twinkling in the sky and you could see your breath as you exhaled.  The violinist was still playing so we decided to listen to him for a while.  He was really good.  I dropped him a few pounds and he tipped his hat.

As the song he was playing finished, Shawn and I applauded him.  He bowed and thanked us.  Shawn took my hand in his, "Dance with me for the next one."

"Ok Mendes."  I chuckled and blushed.

Shawn lead me out to the makeshift dance floor as the violinist began playing A Thousand Years by Christina Perry.  He placed his hand around my waist and laced his fingers through mine.  I rested my free hand on his shoulder and smiled.

He held me close as we swayed to the music.  This was one of these moments when I didn't want to let go.  I fell in love with Shawn more and more each day.  Sometimes it hurt to even look at him, knowing he would never be mine.

I guess that's the funny thing about love.  It sneaks up into your heart and never leaves.  People will eventually move on but love doesn't.  It blooms in your soul and never lets go.

Shawn's warmth surrounded me and I was no longer cold. Our breath mixed and the distance between us was nonexistent. I stared up into his big brown eyes and I wondered what went on up there in that beautiful mind of his.

The music ended, but the spell it cast didn't. We both stood in each other's arms in a daze. Nothing needed to be said, there was a mutual understanding of feelings.

The violinist began playing another song, I didn't recognize it, but it was still quite romantic. Shawn and I kept slow dancing. I believe we would have danced all night if we had the chance.

"There's so much I want to say to you, but I just don't have words." Shawn gazed down at me.

"The story of my life," I chuckled.

"I know we agreed to never bring this up again, but I can't stop thinking, and even dreaming about you. My mind is filled with thoughts of you and it hurts, it really hurts. I've tried everything but-"

"Shawn what are you saying?" My breath hitched.

"I... I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what happens between us and what the future holds, you will always be in my heart, whether I can have you or not."

"I've spent the last few weeks searching within myself to find a way to move on, but same, I don't think it's physically or even emotionally possible." I knew what I had to say to keep my sanity, but I didn't know if my mouth could form the words.

"For your sake and mine, I think we should keep our feelings to ourselves like we have been. There's other people in the world to make us happy, true, we would be a fantastic match for each other, but it's not good timing right now." There, I said it. And it hurt like hell.

Shawn wiped a tear away before it fell from his eye. "I understand, it makes perfect sense. If you ever change your mind..."

"I'll let you know." I was literally dying right now. Did I want to retract everything I just said? Of course! All it took was a few words.  But, at least for now, I had to keep our friendship strictly non emotional.

We stayed in our dancing position far after the music stopped. I guess neither of us wanted to let go, it would make our agreement too real.  Finally, Shawn released his grasp on my waist and then my hand. A tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it away.

"Let's get back to the hotel aye? It's getting pretty late."

"Sounds good Shawn."

The walk back was longer than the ride to the wharf. Silence filled the void in my heart as my steps grew heavier. Despite every fiber of my being screaming at me to tell Shawn I love him, I held a straight face and pushed aside the lump creeping into my throat.

The O2 show was four days away and we both needed to focus on things other than each other. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was 9:30 pm. Both of us were really hungry so we decided to order room service when we got back up to our room.

"How was seeing the sights?"  Vivian asked us.

"Oh it was really cool!"  I exclaimed.

"What was your favorite part?"

"The music."  Shawn cut in and glanced at me.

"Yeah, there was a violinist that played."  I added.

"That's so awesome!  I wish I could have been there."  She smiled and clapped her hands.

I'd held it in as long as I could.  Suddenly I burst into tears.  I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.  Vivian came running after me calling my name.

"Lily are you ok?  What's wrong?"

"Everything!  No, I'm fine."  I sobbed back.  Oh great, now look what you've done you big cry baby!  Everyone will be on to you.  And Shawn will know you still care about him.

"You need anything?"

"No, I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm tired."  I slowly opened the door, I knew my eyes were all puffy.  Vivian and Shawn were standing outside with their arms folded.

"What's going on here?"

"Really it's nothing, I've truly had a lovely evening.  I'm just super hormonal cause I'm PMSing," I lied.

She didn't fall for it, "Uh huh... sure."

"I just wanna sleep."

"Ok, I won't press you.  Get some shut eye cause we have a busy next couple of weeks."

As I walked past Shawn, I noticed a sheen in his eyes as well.  I bet I broke his heart... and he'll never forgive me for that.

A/N:

Surprise! Here's another chapter! I hope everyone liked it! I enjoyed writing it very much. Don't forget to comment and vote if you'd like, I really appreciate it. See ya in the next chapter! Love you guys!! XXX