There's a phantom lurking behind the shadows,
I can feel him lingering, an indecent prowl.
Every night I close my eyes and fall on a bed of cruel knives.
I know I've been hiding my feelings for far too long,
As far as I'm concerned, I've done nothing wrong.
But, I know deep down that something's gotta change,
I've been playing a dangerous type of game.
I'm emotionally invested in my own hurt,
Sometimes I wonder if I like to watch my heart burn.
I'm writing as they're running,
I have no filter, I can feel them coming.
I want to curl up in solitary,
And cry my life away, desperately.
I'm just so sad all the time,
I can't shake this feeling, I'm sick of this fake smile.
I just want to tear up and let it all go,
I just want to have someone to show,
Show my agony to.
I have so much beautiful people in my life,
But I convince myself they hate me, it's all a lie.
I'm lonely in every waking moment,
I just know I fucking blew it.
What if I never fix what I've broken,
What if what's been left unsaid is never spoken.
I breathe regret like I do oxygen,
My past is my personal poison.
This is the most confessional I've ever been,
Inside my head, I'm fighting a demon so mean.
Now that I've gotten all that out of my system,
I think it's time for me to glare into my mirror,
Dry my eyes, and tell myself pretty lies,
Wipe away my emotion and throw on my insincere fake smile.
