𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒚 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 [𝐝.𝐜]

Ocean Breeze

The only pleasant thing about being back here, besides Charlie, is the ocean. The ocean breeze whispers like a lover, tousling my long brown hair, and placing gentle kisses on my cheek. On days like this, Sarah and I would often come and watch the sunset. "Oh Sarah, what have I gotten myself into," I whispered.  I closed my eyes to the lullaby of the ocean, remembering the old days. 

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Bonnie May Jones didn't care that the sand was damp from the night's rain. She sat right down and let it soak right through her black shirt. Then she took off her gloves and faced the waves, towards the sun setting. The ocean breeze flowing between her hands took her right back to her childhood and when she used to live in Forks. The salty taste of the air on her tongue and the scent of the swan in her nostrils was like a time warp and when she closed her eyes she could hear Sarah's laughing at her falling backward onto the sandcastle they took forever to build. Bonnie didn't know why building a sandcastle was considered fun, yes she saw other people doing it before, but she never really understood until Sarah came around. She really didn't know a lot of things, but with Sarah's help, Bonnie was becoming more and more human. But now that hearty sound and pretty much everything else was a treasured memory. 

Bonnie watches the sea, lost in the crashing of waves on the sand. Her eyes were steady to the horizon, face shining with the last orange rays before twilight beckons the stars. Her lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that she's enjoying her thoughts, whatever they may be. Jacob moves closer so that she feels his presence, yet stays quiet, allowing her to stay lost in the moment a while longer. 

Jacob took his eyes away from the sea to stare at his godmother. However, instead of her eyes on the sea, they were now closed, hair being blown back by the gentle ocean breeze, and a soft smile on her face. At that moment, Jacob became memorized by the way Bonnie looked, she looked her age, not her vampire age but her human age. Young, oh how young she was before her brother decided to murder her. Innocent, yes she was innocent before she took her first life.  

Jacob began to wonder, what if she never became a vampire. Would she have a family to call her own? What kind of problems has she been through? Has her whole life been hell or has there been someone to help her through the darkness? Would his life be different if she was never there? 

"Your mother used to look at me with that same expression," Bonnie's soft voice brought Jacob back to reality. Jacob looked at Bonnie but she still had her eyes closed, enjoying the ocean's breeze. 

"Are you thinking about my life? Wondering if I had suffered or not?" Bonnie's question made Jacob look down, embarrassed. Bonnie softly laughed, hearing her laugh Jacob looked up and this time she was staring at him. However, it wasn't the usual expression she often has. But this time it was almost as she was in pain, remembering something that caused her cold heart to break all over again. 

Slowly, Bonnie raised her right hand and placed it on Jacob's left cheek. Feeling the coldness of her hand, Jacob couldn't help but flinch. Seeing the sadness in her eyes, Jacob quickly apologized. "I'm sorry," Jacob said, feeling bad that he did something to make his godmother sad. 

Bonnie softly smiled at him, caressing Jacob's cheek. He could see all the unwanted emotions she was feeling at that moment and he didn't know what to do. He was so torn on what to do. Ever since he became a shapeshifter, his father taught him that vampires were bad, that he needed to kill them but now he doesn't know what to do. He just found out that his godmother-- the best friend of his mother, the one person who he knows would never betray him is, in fact, a vampire, one of his enemies. 

Bonnie could see Jacob's mind spinning. Even though Jacob could hide his emotions from everyone else, it was hard to do so with Bonnie. Living so many years has taught Bonnie to read a person very well. Jacob's emotions were not easily hidden on his innocent face. His pain was evident in the crease of his thick brow and the down-curves of his lips. But his eyes, his eyes showed his soul. They were a deep pool of restless dark brown, an ocean of hopeless grief. "Jacob, my boy. Do not go against what you believe. Or what you were taught--" Jacob firmly shook his head. 

"How could I? When everything I was ever taught will kill you in the end!" Jacob replied with tears forming. As Bonnie looked into his eyes she knew that Jacob had the same passion as Sarah. A passion that turned their eyes into orbs of the brightest fire, and in them anyone could clearly read that he would fight to the very death. Sure he would be in pain, but he would never let anyone take his true self from him. He would cling to it with passion. A passion that made him beautiful and deadly. 

"Then just this once you can go against it," without another word Jacob wrapped his arms around his godmother. Although she was colder than the coldest nights, Jacob had never felt anything warmer than Bonnie's arms at that moment. 

Being in Bonnie's arms, being protected from the world, Jacob couldn't help but feel like a little kid once again. At that moment, Jacob remembered his childhood when his mother was still alive and when Bonnie used to live nearby. He began to remember all those late nights when Bonnie stayed over to make chocolate cookies and to read to Jacob his favorite book. He remembers when Jacob was sick and his mother didn't know what to do so she called Bonnie while crying her eyes off. He remembered how Bonnie held Jacob close and would keep him cool, helping his fight his fever. Then he started to remember all the weird, yet obvious signs that she was a vampire like she would rarely eat anything, or drink anything that was in a covered bottle. Also, she would never go out whenever the sun was out and if she did, she would always be covered. Lastly, he remembers the day of his mother's funeral, how dead Bonnie looked. It was the first time seeing Bonnie not smiling, it was the first time seeing her so broken, her eyes didn't have it usual light but it held emptiness, no emotions whatsoever. 

Jacob held Bonnie tighter "you know, now I understand why you left. But that doesn't make the pain any better." Bonnie held Jacob tighter as she felt his body began to shake. She placed one of her hand behind Jacob's head while the other one held him, just like when he was little. "I'm so sorry for leaving you here. I should have taken you with me." 

As much as Jacob tried to hold it in he couldn't. Whether it was the pain, the recent heartbreak from Isabella, the overwhelming emotions, or it was just being in Bonnie's arms again, Jacob couldn't hold in his tears. His cry came out like an uproar from the throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. Quickly Bonnie kneeled down, holding Jacob closer to her and he didn't push her away. He wouldn't dare to do that to Bonnie, it would be like pushing away his mother. 

For the first time in a long time, Jacob Black cried in the arms of a woman. Jacob Black put his walls down for Bonnie. For the first time in a long time, Jacob Black was the scared little kid crying in the arms of his beloved godmother. 

While Jacob was crying, Bonnie kept on whispering sweet nothings in his ears, caressing the back of his head, projecting the love she felt for him, making sure he felt safe in her arms. The world around them became important, it was only them at that moment, everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against Jacob before everything darkened into nothingness as he passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness. 

Bonnie gently and carefully picked up the tired little boy in her arms and made her way towards her house. Before leaving the shore, she looked back and she made a promise to her best friend. "Sarah, I have your little boy in my arms again. I promise I wouldn't let him go." And just like when Jacob was a little boy, Bonnie used her vampire speed to quickly get him into bed before he woke up. 

Watching Jacob sleep in her spare room, Bonnie couldn't help but feel guilty of leaving. When Sarah died, she was a mess. Not only emotionally but physically and mentally. She didn't know if she was able to take care of Jacob and the girls. When Sarah died, Bonnie began to kill humans and it took some time to regain some of her control. Now clearly thinking of the past, Bonnie saw her mistakes and she wants to redeem them. Starting with Jacob, she'll right her wrongs.