How Do I Love Thee?

Of Hugs and Kisses

JISOO POV

"You're the best teacher ever."

I don't know how many times I've heard that from you. You even brag about it to our friends. I'll often just smirk and bask on your praises.

But to tell you the truth "You're the best teacher ever, not me."

I may have taught you how to cook, how to do the laundry, how to interpret poems or to appreciate reading, but still it wouldn't compare to what you've taught me.

You taught me love.

You taught me how to be afraid to put my heart unto someone's hand and you taught me it's okay to put my heart unto someone's hand.

You taught me how to pour myself into a relationship without having to lose myself. You taught me that loving someone and being loved in return is the best feeling in the world. You taught me to love and to accept love.

I wasn't an affectionate person. I didn't have the best role models when it comes to love. I came from a broken home where hugs are rare, kisses are foreign and 'i love yous' could just be the same as silence.

You were the opposite, you're very affectionate. You told me once you're not good with words so you prefer actions.

You asked about it once and I told you the truth, I told you about my dysfunctional family, from my father abandoning us, to our mother being too depressed to take care of us, that my sister had to be both my mom and dad at a very young age, and you listened. I let you see my ugly hidden scars and still you told me I'm beautiful. You told me, I'm not broken that I'm not a reflection of my parents, that I'm so much more.

You told me that it's okay if I'm not affectionate because love isn't measured by the amount of kisses and hugs one can give, it's the amount of times you made them laugh and how big you can make them smile.

You also said, you smile the most when you're with me.

That night, I gave you the biggest hug and the softest kiss. That night I finally understood that hugs, kisses and 'i love yous' aren't just obligations one is expected to do in a relationship. I realized that hugs, kisses and 'iloveyous' are extensions of the feelings bursting from my chest when I look at you.

You taught me that. You taught me to hug you just because, to kiss you whenever I want to, to tell you 'iloveyou' in the most random time of the day.

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You also taught me to always hold your hand.

I suck at directions, I always get lost. But one time when we were out of town, there was a festival. Too many people and I got dragged away from you. Thirty minutes after, you were hugging me so tight and at the same time scolding me for letting your hand go. I was laughing while you were crying.

I didn't panic.

Somehow, I knew you would find me.

"From now on, Don't ever let go, okay?" You seriously said. I just nodded, thinking back then, "how could I?"

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But I did, I let go.

I realized, I should have listened to you.

Because the moment I let go, I got so lost.

This time, I wasn't laughing. There's no assurance that you'll find me .

This time, I don't think you'll even look for me.