Stay || c.h. *completed & editing*

Chapter 12.

Dear Laurie,

I've spent every day with Calum for the past week. I've been really pushing my luck lately.

Mom told me that if I don't break up with Calum she's going to disown me and kick me out. I don't know how she could do such a thing. Especially considering you're not even here anymore. And I'll have no one, because as soon as Calum were to find out about it he'd leave me. I'd be too much of a burden for him. And after all we have together I don't know that I'd be able to face that.

I just don't know what to do anymore. 

I love you and still miss you like crazy.

Love, 

Ellie.

~~~

"Hey Ellie, can I ask you something?" Calum asked me as we were sitting on his roof after I'd snuck out with him again.

"Yeah," I said, laying back against the blanket he'd laid out for us to sit on.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Like... Emotionally? Mentally?" he looked down at me in concern.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said. Why was he asking if I was okay?

"It's just that... You've been pretty distant lately," he said quietly. "And you aren't as open and smiling as much as you were before, and I'm just kinda worried about you is all."

"I'm fine," I said. "There's just been a lot going on."

"I'm really sorry," he sighed. "I wish there was something I could do to help you with whatever it is going on. Are your parents fighting a lot?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "It seems like all they ever do is fight. It's been that way ever since Laurie died."

"I'm always here if you ever need me," he said quietly, pushing a few strands of hair from my face.

"I know," I said back as he leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Do you wanna go watch a movie or something?" he asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "But I'll need to get home soon." I didn't need my mom getting even more mad than she already is that I snuck out again.

"Well then I'll just take you home now," he said as I sat up and began to climb down to the ground with him.

Calum drove me home, kissing me outside my window like he always did before I climbed up to my room and sat down, thinking about what Calum said to me. I honestly wasn't meaning to be distant with him, but in all honesty I was probably subconsciously preparing myself for the fact that pretty soon I knew we would end up breaking up.

I didn't want to. Calum was the last substantial person I had left in my life and I didn't want to break up with him. Losing him was going to hurt badly, but I could get by on my own. I know I could.

I laid on my bed and tried to push the thought away for the time being and eventually fell asleep.

~~~

"What did I tell you about Calum?" my mom said at dinner.

I just glanced up from my food, knowing she had already figured out me sneaking out.

"I told you to break up with him, Eleanor," she said impatiently.

I poked at my meatloaf, not hungry at all. 

"Why haven't you?" she asked.

"Because he's the only person I have left," I snapped, surprising her.