Thursday

Apologizing For Being Careless

I know half of you don't acknowledge me for who I am.
Guaranteed you have hatred for me.
Did I make you feel uncomfortable?
Forgive me when I'm dead.
Pity me when you think you're desiring me.
Attend my funeral, but speak only with 3 words.
Don't type on your Instagram caption about me.
You know you just want the clout that comes from me.
Tell me, do you enjoy living your life?
Bet Kat would agree with me that people live in their own world.
My heart has been frozen by ice for a long time.
Ex keep telling me she can't forgive herself, well I never forgave myself either.
Somehow I felt confident enough to speak and look up to you eye to eye.
Even at 6:12pm, your eyes glimmered and nearly juiced out every memory out of my brain.
When my time comes, I don't need a prayer nor a blessing.
I run through my memories just so I can feel again.
Do you know what it feels like being numb?
I'll forever hate my pasty, tanned image that renders on this glass held by glue on my bathroom wall.
Smoking slowly has encouraged me to pop those pills and feel like a downer.
2 months into educational jail, but I'll rather have a lifetime filled with genuine emotions.
I'm sorry to myself for not aiding you earlier.
Lost so much that I regret not throwing my life away at 13.
I can do anything for any person that will be by my side forever.
Drowning you in real love and a smile I hate, but you somehow love.
Every single night I have those thoughts, thoughts that If I died, I'll want to know what you would say.
I walk by all my people quiet with people ignoring my presence.
I am the only one I wish death upon.