Not That Simple

Finally Talking

Monica's POV

Ugh. I hate the fact that I can't even make it into work because all my body wishes to do is reject anything I eat. I want to indulge on chocolate, chips, popcorn, along with any other junk food you can think up and so far the only thing I can keep down in sips of water and pickles, which for a start is extremely odd because only a month ago I despised everything about them.

I have this feeling deep down that's telling me this is a lot more than just a sickness bug. The reason to believe my gut feeling is increasing by the minute, surely a sickness bug doesn't naturally last over a week.

Reaching my arm out from the warmth of my blanket I grab the remote and turn the tv down slightly. Slowly I lean my body to the right, pulling the blanket over my body. My head hits the pillow and I frown at how sudden my eyes begin to ache, the only relief I gain is when they close.

"Woah...wha..huh" I snap awake and find Rachel millimetres from my face. Blinking I lay my head back and rub my eyes.
"Sorry I woke you, the blanket was falling off you and so I tried to put it back over you" she says apologetically, I smile up at her.

"Thanks Rach. You okay? How was work?" I watch my friend tug the sleeves of her jacket down her arms and hang it up on the rack.
"Eh... it was okay, average really" Nodding I turn away catching my reflection in the tv, I cringe, looking like I've been dragged through a bush backwards.

If he's not mentioned anything maybe Mr Bing wants to keep that night quiet too. Oh god I hope so.

"Oh yeah" Rachel exclaims jumping forward in get seat for a second, "before I forget, Mr Bing was wondering you where you were and he said he'd give you a call so you can work out sick days or something" she sends a one shoulder shrug my way as she strolls to the direction of the kitchen.

Wishful thinking.

I internally groan, the thought of having to speak to him nerve wracking. I know I can't avoid it but it just seems to be such a much simpler option than bringing that night up again.

"Kay" I nod after a few moments.

Rachel comes behind the couch leaning over the back of it concerned. "Mon you okay? Hungry?"

Shaking my head I squint waiting for the nausea to pass over, "No I'm fine, I'll call Mr Boss man whilst I have nothing important to do" Rachel helps me up, another wave of dizziness hits as I reach my feet, I just continue to ignore it and stumble across to my bedroom. Hearing the door close behind me I sigh.

It's not going to be easy as I imagined it would be.

Clambering under the protection of my bed sheets I sit up against my bed frame anxiously rubbing my hands together.
Switching on my phone I'm greeted by the lock screen photo; me and my friends at the beach last summer. The sunset in the background casting an orangey red across our faces making us seem a lot more tanned than we really were. Each and every smile reflecting happiness and joy. Grinning I swipe the pad of my thumb over the image, my eyes brimming with tears.

Nothing's changed I still have my brother, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey, though he's always got an acting job in every other state but this one.

Tapping in my passcode I search and find my contacts. Automatically scrolling to 'B' I locate the name "Boss" in my contacts and stare into the brightness of the screen, letting me fly away from reality for a split second.

Tapping the 11 digit number I wait. And wait. And wait, the anxiety spreading through my body more and more every-time I hear the boring drone of each ring.

It clicks off, I hear quiet shuffling and my throat closes.
"Hello...Hello?" His voice, something about it more comforting than I thought I would be.
Clearing my throat I shake away my fear,
"Hi" I whisper.

He exhales into the speaker i swear I can see his shoulders sagging in relief as if he's here, right in front of me.

"Umm... are you okay" sighing a look down at my knees, I ran out on him, avoided him, and he still checks on me first.

After what seems like eternity I find my voice, "I'm okay." I called him. And I'm at a loss for words.

"Miss Green told me you are ill." Clearing his throat I hear him swallow heavily, "What's wrong?"

I'm suddenly smirking, even I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because he might've asked about me. I don't know.

"Yeah I'm fine. I've just been throwing up a lot and I can't really eat much. Sorry I should've been at work today but I don't want to get anyone else sick. I'll be in as soon as I can" inching my way down the bed I pull my quilt further up my body. My shoulders now against my pillow.

"Don't apologise for being sick, take your time to make sure your healthy. That's what matters. I called as a 'boss'." By The way he says boss I can imagine air quotes where supposed to be there. "To see if you might want to come back for next week. But you could still be sick so as a friend I'm just checking you're okay... also I think we may need to talk..."

His voice fades at his last few words, the grin set into my cheeks following suit.

"Uhh.. yeah maybe we do. I just want you to know I am not the type of person to just sleep with someone like that" my words come out in a rushed muddle and I'm surprised he got what I said.

"Monica I know I know. Neither am I. It wasn't out of sympathy or just because of what you told me I can promise you that." Woah woah... wait...hold on. WHAT!

My chest feels suddenly like it's constricting and drops of water have already broken the barrier I failed to keep strong. My eyes widen as I sob into my free hand.
Chandlers voice rings through the speaker and I lose all control, "Monica? Are you crying? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything" I sob clutching my quilt. "I'm so stupid... did I tell you everything... ab-about last year?" Between hiccoughs from my sobbing I finish the sentence I never wanted to start.
"Yeah. You kinda did."

Throwing my phone I hear it hit the wall with a huge thud and land in pieces on the ground 4 foot below it.
Twisting under the sheets I clutch desperately onto my pillow, a continuous flow of tears staining the freshly washed bedding.

What has my life turned into?