Not That Simple

Struggling

Chandler's POV

Monica starts breaking down, her entire body is convulsing, her sobs are agonising to hear and my mind is blank for what seems like eternity. I have a feeling whatever was bothering her earlier is relevant somehow.

I quickly kneel down in front of her, my hands resting on her knees, "Monica, listen to me, you're okay." Her arms reach out for me and she falls forward, I catch her, pulling her back onto the bed, her face buries into my chest as she cries and my heart could break. Doctor Pierce frowns, I've never been in this situation before but I am so thankful for his patience. I look back down, and hug Monica tightly. "Listen, I'm here with you, whatever it says I will help you. Come on, let's get this over and done with, then I can take you back home."

Her breath hitches as she her tears subside, she pulls back enough for me to see her tear-stained face, "You don't care what it says? Will you stay with me?" I am shocked by her sudden change in demeanour, she is so weak, broken, desperate for help.

"I will never ever care what it says, as long as you and the baby are healthy. I promise I will stay with you every step of the way. Come on." I take her hands and stand, gently pulling her with me. Together we walk over the the scales beside Doctor Pierce, who voices a "Thank you" to me, to which I nod.

Slowly Monica steps onto the scales, her hands grip mine tight enough to break my bones, "Honey you need to let go, but it will only be for a couple of seconds, just keep looking at me" She does as I say, reluctantly releasing my fingers from their death grip, however her eyes never leave mine, I watch as they glass over with tears again.

Doctor Pierce notes down the numbers quickly, "Right Monica, you're done. You are perfectly fine. I will call to book your next appointment in a couple of weeks time, you're in no fit state to think about it right now. Congratulations to you both. Look after yourselves." He offers me his hand and I shake it thankfully. I reach out and guide Monica away from the scales hugging her closely. Her body shakes violently as she sniffles, trying to control her sobs. 

"Thank you Doctor for everything" I glance down at Monica.

"No problem at all Chandler. I'll be in touch."

The drive home was a long one, but on the upside Monica did manage to fall asleep.

I told her to go and have a shower to get rid of any gel still on her stomach, hoping it might refresh her and make her feel a little more like herself. 

I peek into the cupboards in search of mugs, finally I find two and pour out coffee, adding sugar and milk. I wait on the couch staring at my reflection in the tv, the black and white image of my baby flickering in my mind, I still can't believe it's real.

Monica shuffles into the living room wearing sweats and a tank, making her belly look so much bigger, she's captivating. She runs her fingers through her hair to get rid of the knots and flops down beside me.

I stay silent for a few moments, waiting.
"I'm sorry" I hear her whisper, barely audible but I hear it.

I reach out and place my hand on her knee, "Don't be sorry Monica". Her hand meets mine and her fingers trace circles along my skin, my stomach quivers.

Her mouth opens a few times but nothing comes out, I can see the cogs doing overtime in her head, her brow furrowing, I just wait patiently, watching her fingers. 

"I've been struggling." She breathes, her voice soft yet hoarse. I turn my body to her, and dare to look at her face, tears begin trickle from the corners of her bloodshot eyes. 

"Is that why you were a little off this morning?" I ask tentatively, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it reassuringly. She nods slowly, still not looking at me. "You should've told me" I whisper, "Why didn't you?" 

"I- I don't know. I was getting ready this morning, and seeing my body look so different it-it's hard for me to see. I'm so big, I love my baby and feel so blessed that I can even have a baby. Part of me just hates it." Her voice cracks and tears stream down her cheeks. I reach out and wrap my arms around her shoulders, she sobs into my shoulder and my heart breaks. 

I pull back enough to see her face, her eyes still avoiding me, my fingers trace her jaw softly, slowly coming up to wipe away her tears. "It's okay" She shakes her head, I hold it steady, ducking to look into her eyes. "It is okay, it is. This is your body, and you're allowed to feel however you do about it. I bet it's common in most pregnant women, you're no different to them Monica. I promise you, you look beautiful, perfect even. Your body will change and all you have to remember is that it is our baby growing into a perfect tiny version of you. I will be here for you, whenever you need, I'll sleep on the couch, and be there to comfort and reassure you whatever hour of the night, as long as you and the baby are okay." 

I see the tension drain from her body, her shoulders relaxing. She tilts her head, still looking into my eyes, and I could almost say its an adoring look she's giving me, but I think I'm just being hopeful. 

Her arms come up around shoulders and she buries her head into my neck, I'm suddenly intoxicated by a sweet smell of strawberries, my mind goes hazy for a few seconds and I close my eyes. I wrap my arms around her waist, revelling in the way her bump brushes against my stomach.

"Will you stay tonight?" she mutters, and I can't help the smile that creeps along my lips. 

She pulls back keeping her arms on my shoulders, and I nod, "If that's what you want."

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W/N - Hi guys, it's been a long time! I promise I will finish this story I am just writing as and when I get time in-between work and school. I only have a couple of months until I have finished school! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I hope you all have a better happier New Year. It's been a tough one for a few people but remember you are never alone. 

Please leave reviews telling me opinions on the chapter and how you are in general I would love to talk!

Thank you!!