Not That Simple

What's Gotten Into Me?

Monica's POV

I don't know. I just don't know.
Why did I do it? Why did I sleep with a man who showed me a bit of sympathy? Why did I even drink?

Groaning I bury my head into my pillow for the tenth time today, trying to fathom whereabouts my brain was 5 nights ago. Yes five nights, and I still can't work it out.

Was it good? Yes. Was it the best? Ummm. If I could remember more...maybe...I guess.
I know it was good that's for sure, even his kisses could've sent me over the edge but my god what is wrong with me.

I don't think I've ever slept with anyone on the first night of meeting them, or in this case bumping into them out of the workplace for the first time. Not since high school.

Even back then I wasn't dumb enough to get drunk and go with just anyone.

But MY BOSS! What was I thinking? That it would make everything better all of a sudden? That I would forget my past?

Well it didn't work because I certainly remember every single detail of my past. Unfortunately not every single detail of that night, if I could get that then I could probably work out how I felt.

The brandy certainly seemed to send those memories off in a hurry.

"Oh goood" groaning again I throw my body forward so I can swing onto my feet from the bed. "Why am I so stupid? I mean Mr Bing!" I know I'm talking to myself, I know I sound crazy, I couldn't care less right now.

I haven't left my apartment much since that night, I came home with a pounding headache, I ended up instantly showering thinking I could wash away the mistake.

I've tried to tell rachel but I don't know where to start with it, already knowing her reply will be "Monica you said you couldn't see anything in him."

It's still true, just my alcohol addled mind didn't quite agree.

Watching the clock beside my bed I wait for it to tick to the next hour 10 am, Rachel will be up any minute now, today is the day I tell her.

Tugging a pair of soft cotton grey shorts and my thick woolly jumper, I scrape my hair up into a bun. I'm enjoying the fact that its now down to the lower end of my back but I have to say on a day like this it looks no more flattering.

My stomach twists violently and I bolt. Pummelling through the bathroom I send Rachel flying against the wall, reaching the toilet just in time.

"Monica!" I think I hear her yell as she crashes beside the mirror. Gripping the edge of the sink with one hand and resting my other hand on my knees I beg for the onslaught to be over.

Finally my stomach grants me mercy, settling once again, until now I didn't realise Rachel had been holding back pieces of my hair that were in my way and rubbing my back consolingly.

Frowning at me as I wipe my mouth and stand on shaky legs, her hand moves to rest on my shoulder, "You okay Mon?" Highly concerned to say I've only thrown up.

My knuckles turn white with my grip on the sink, shakily I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste nodding. "I'm okay, it's probably just a bug. I haven't felt  great for the last couple of days."

Rachel nods understandingly finishing brushing her hair then leaving me on my own to give me privacy.

My mouth now fresh and minty tasting calms me slightly, I suck in long deep breaths of air, whatever it is needs it clear off and soon!

Finding Rachel with a cup of coffee in front of the TV I wait for a second, ohh god no, my stomach churns and I immediately dodge the smell, no coffee today.

Cautiously I approach the empty space next to Rachel, willing my body to get under control, it's my Bestfriend, she won't judge me.
"Uhh, Rach I need to talk to you about something" I begin, my hands unconsciously clenched into fists on my lap, sending my knuckles white.

"Sup Mon" she mumbles her eyes still on the tv screen.
"Well, uhh, well" slowly her eyes avert and she turns to me curiously. I'm just going to have to say it. "I-i-i" nope I can't do it. Now isn't the time.
Think Monica. Find an excuse, god anything. Just say something. It can be anything. Something. Dumb or whatever just something.

Nothing

"Mon? Maybe you should go to bed for a while, you're really pale and shaky. We'll miss the shopping day and cinema tomorrow. Just rest I have to go to work in minute" Well okay then. I'm saved.

Breathing out in complete relief my brain clicks into place. "Yeah Thanks Rach. I'm a bit all over the place I think." That's it. Go along with it. "You do know we have 2 weeks off though. Why are you going into work?" Rolling her eyes Rachel grabs her cup and takes it over to the sink, rinsing it out with warm water.

"Whoever those girls are in front of us are, they don't understand the work they have to do for us. Apparently it's too complex. Mr Bing asked me to just go in today and show them the ropes" the sound of even Mr Bing gets my heart to pound against my chest. I think my stomach has dropped to my feet. All to suddenly I get a whiff of coffee, toast who knows.

As if in slow motion, my body jolts, my stomach twisting. Here we go again. Bounding towards the bathroom I fall to my knees just in time.

Rachel's footsteps follow closely behind, holding back my hair with one hand she reaches over and grabs the bin from beside the sink. Eventually my body lets up leaving me slumped up against the door frame.

Almost in routine, I reach up for my toothbrush and wash away the revolting taste I'm left with. Once I've finished Rachel takes my hand in hers her other hand carrying the bin, leading me into my room, she leaves the bin in front of my bedside table and pulls back my quilt.

Stopping for a minute, she just stands and stares at me, giving me a look of sympathy, "Will you be okay on your own?"

Rolling my eyes internally I sigh, "ill be fine, it's only a bug. Go." Frowning for the last time she nods and leaves my room. I wait till I hear

"SEE YOU AT 6 MON"

Then I relax. Sinking into my mattress I rest my hands over my stomach. I reckon I'm going to have to spend my time avoiding my boss from now on. What a mistake to make!
At least Rachel doesn't know, I think it's best to keep it that way.