Not That Simple

The Woman Who Stuck By Me

Chandler POV

I don't know. I just don't know.

Why can't I get her out of my head? Chandler you are so stupid, you've spoken to her one night, she was drunk, maybe she spilled everything out to you. It doesn't mean she meant to.

The more I try to stop thinking about that morning, the more it hurts me. Surely I wasn't that bad. Was it maybe something I said? All I know is that my brain is fixed on her.

That morning was almost 2 weeks ago and the image of her slight curled hair falling over her shoulders, the smile that melts my heart set upon her lips and her ocean blue eyes staring back at me, still branded in my head like it was 2 hours ago. Monica Geller.

Today is the day her and Miss Green come back to work, a tiny voice in the back of my head yells at me to give it up. She will avoid me anyways so what's the point in attempting anything.

For a start my office is a tip, mirroring how it looks in my head, I'm not wearing my suit like normal and my hair isn't gelled into its normal position. You could say that I'm hooked on a woman.

Through the pane of glass opposite me I watch all my workers ready to work, lastly I watch Miss Green enter the room, followed by no one else. Though I never expected her to talk to me, I feel my heart sink, some part of me hoped I'd at least be able to speak to her.

It's like that when you see those posts on Facebook that tell you to stare at a red dot for 60 seconds and then look around the room and you see an image, only I see Monica's distraught form jerking away from me. Replaying the agonising punch in my stomach knowing it's because she woke up next to me.

Wringing my hands together I take a last deep breath through my nose, as if I'm underwater I hear the distant slam of my office door closing behind me.

"Hi...Morning...Good work...Um Hey" I finish awkwardly leaning against Miss Greens desk. Her eyes avert from her computer screen every few seconds, never fully ceasing her typing, a trick she learnt of Monica so as to not waste time on work.

"Morning sir" she smiles, taking a quick break she stops and questions me with a look.

Clearing my throat I force my self to act natural, "Just felt like a round of 'Good Mornings'." I shrug it off as she starts to type away again. "Do you know where Miss Geller is?" I ask eyeing up the strangely empty desk beside Miss Green.

"Oh um some time last week, Saturday I think" all time slows down, that's the day after I saw Monica. Rachel continues, "She woke up and was throwing up all day and she's had it pretty much every day up to now. I assume it's a bad viral infection, the sickness bug." She clarifies,
obviously guessing my blank expression is confusion over what Monica must have.

I am curious as to why she's still sick because sickness bugs should only last up to three days, four at a push, a week and a couple of days later she's still sick. There's something not quite right.

Again I shift awkwardly searching for anything to look at, "Oh okay, could you please ask her to call me to discuss something please?"
"Sure"

"Thanks" I mumble and with the fact she still hasn't looked up I take the hint and leave hastily giving out my last mornings.

Back staring at the same four walls I groan, I'm so bored.

Gazing at the picture frame facing me I smile appreciatively. My mother, her chestnut styled hair pinned gracefully up into a bun, an unmistakably gleeful smile stretching her cheeks. The gentle glint in her eye, those eyes only ever saw the good in people, overlooking their mistakes and flaws. It continues to yank at my heartstrings even to this day, 12 years ago the most amazing supportive woman in my life had to leave me.

She fought for years and Cancer finally defeated her, she never wanted to give up. It was the hardest thing to watch the one person who looked after you when you were sick or having a rough time, to be in so much agony and there's nothing you can do to take it away.

I will never forget how she helped me find who I am, I'll never forget how strong and fierce she was even if she wanted to break down in a puddle of tears.

The grief was immense, as they say it gets better over years, well yeah it does because you know that nothing you do will ever bring them back. But there will always be the image of her in pain fighting for her life, for me. I'll remember every happy memory with her forever because in my heart she won't ever leave.

I suppose as I'm the boss of this department and I generally put the effort into how I present myself, it seems like I've had an easy life and gotten to where I am with a flick of a switch.

I can confirm it wasn't that easy.

My dad left me and my mom when I was maybe five or six years old with no genuine reason. It might be a stereotype for younger boys that they are closer to their dads and they go out to play football and spend at least some time together, not for me. I was in fact much closer to my mom, when my dad left not only did it hurt me but it hurt my her.

She never cried in front of me and she always tried to cover up the fact she hadn't slept properly in weeks, though I heard her crying herself to sleep and watched her cover darkening circles with concealer.

In school I was getting pretty high grades and so when it came to exams I was expected to get the highest marks. Not only did that put a lot of pressure on me along with everything else, I was struggling with anxiety.
My self confidence was pretty low and I hated being the centre of attention.

My mom stuck by me and supported me through my last years of high school and ensured that I passed my tests to my full ability. My grades weren't that bad.

I had no clear vision of where I wanted to be at by this point but I knew it had to be something related to maths. I excelled in that subject naturally.

I searched and searched for a job that seemed decent enough and a placement I would enjoy, nothing ever showed up.

My mom saw an advertisement saying that new workers were needed for this place. She came in without me knowing and explained my situation showing them my grades and CV alongside it. Basically I started off out there where Miss Green and Miss Geller is now.
I managed to plough through all my workload along with a lot of my colleagues. The man previously in my position now, Mr Harrison, maybe in his late 50's, early  60's decided he wanted to go into retirement a couple years earlier than he originally planned.

I happened to still be battling anxiety with myself, the boss told me he wanted to speak to me. Panicking I felt myself getting dizzy and faint as I followed him, I'm think I'm going to mr fired from the job I'd not even been a employed 2 months for. Out of everyone in my contacts they called my mom.

I can't lie it's slightly embarrassing when you wake up to your mum holding either side of your face calling out your name, along with 500 other faves peering down at you..

Long story short I was given the position of the boss, to ensure all the other workers were okay with this I had to undergo 3 months of training and days of what I'd have to do as a boss.

I passed with flying colours, everyone agreeing I was going to be good enough. Gaining the boss job meant I had to look the part and put in the effort, compliments started to me aimed at me and it was so unnatural but soothing to me.

I would never have even gotten a pass in English if it wasn't for my mom never mind get this job, believe in myself and excel to the boss.

No words will ever be able to explain how thankful I am. I wish I could just tell her that one more time.

I miss her so much.

A/N: I know this chapter is short and soooo bad but I have been struggling to be able to write like at all, when I'm further along in the story I might edit this chapter and rewrite it making it better. Thank you all so much for your reviews it really means a lot and gives me more confidence to continue writing for you guys! Please leave a review for me. I love you guys!