Electric

chapter five

"Rise and shine, mutant." A voice calls into my cell and my eyes blink open.

I stare at the ray of light entering my room from the doorway like it might be the door to heaven. I would rather be anywhere but in here. In here is a death trap. In here is loneliness trying to eat me alive. I get up groggily wishing that for once I'd get a break. There is no summer vacation in the asylum. I get zero months off from the torture sessions and imitations. 

    Sadly I'm still alive.

    I don't say a thing about the mutant comment like the guard wants me to. This guard is at least speaking to me. When I look him over, I notice he's new. I've never seen him before, and his uniform is ironed and fresh. The guards drag me towards one of the many torture rooms as I try to blink the sleep from my eyes. When they open the door and I get a glimpse at what's in the room, I struggle and it isn't pretty.

    My elbows are hostile, trying to escape the guard's holds. I can't control my legs as they kick anything solid near them. The guards have to hoist me up to be able to carry me the rest of the way into the room.

    "No, no, no, no." I can hear myself repeating distantly. I can't go through this again. Once was enough. Every night in my dreams is too much. The first time nearly drove me insane. The guards shove me forward and rush out of the room. I race after them but reach the door too late. It slams in my face and I pound on it, attempting to escape. No one lets me out.

    There's never an escape.

    Slowly, I turn to face the screen that's bolted to the wall. There's a glass box around it that won't break. Trust me, I've tried. There's a metal chair bolted to the ground in front of the television. The cement walls feel like they're already pushing into me, daring me to sit in that chair. Then the T.V. suddenly flickers on. When it does, I actually flinch like it hurts. I stare over at the video camera in the top corner that allows Dexter and Parker to watch me. I glare at it for a minute before the sound comes on. I can't watch this again.

    Is seeing it in my sleep every night not enough for them?

    My dad is staring at me all of the sudden. His eyes are wide in shock and Mitch is right next to him. I see my little self next, trembling and hiding behind Mitch. Mitch has a protective hand around my arm, pushing me farther behind him. Even though the T.V. doesn't show it, I can still see the young man, the one in the crisp suit, frown at Mitch.

    "You can't take her without going through us first." My dad's strong voice interrupts my raging thoughts, and I hold back a sob.

My dad just wanted to save me after all he had been through with losing Mom and all the other crap in his life. Mitch nods his head on the screen in agreement to my dad's statement. Mitch loved me too much. He was too nice to me. He cared too much. My heart actually aches when I see him now. I miss him. I close my eyes because I know what's going to happen next. I try to cover my ears, but somehow the volume only gets louder.

    "That can be taken care of." The young man's voice is threatening and I back away, bumping into the wall. Bile rises in my throat, but I swallow it down. Then I hear it.

    The gunshot.

    I shrink into the wall trying to disappear. I am not here. I'm eating pancakes on my birthday with Mitch and my dad. We're laughing and making fun of how old I am now, how I'm getting to be such a granny. I'm laughing too. I roll my little ten-year-old eyes, unaware of the fact I'll be eating alone in an asylum a year away on my next birthday. Mitch will ruffle my hair, but then clean my dish off for me anyway. He'll kiss my forehead before he catches the bus to school. Then it'll just be me and Dad.