Electric

chapter twenty-three

"Parker?" I whisper into the soundless dark of his room yet that is all I get in return, silence. He must be in his office.

    Before I came, I went to my room and changed into my pajamas which are still the unmatched pink top and purple bottoms. Now I stand in the door-frame with my eyes flicking between the office door and his bed. I'm exhausted, but should I interrupt his work and tell him I'm back? Why waste the energy when he's just going to tell me to go to bed?

     So, making a decision, I crawl into his bed, wrap the sheets around me, and nuzzle into the cold mattress and fluffy pillow. My eyes close to more obscurity and I let out a soft sigh. Soon enough, the nightmares grab ahold of me and drag me into a completely different darkness.

"Come here, love." This voice is calm and soothing. I briefly marvel at how it is such a contrast to Mile's voice in my dream. I'm being moved for some reason, and I don't dare resist because my body is limp from sleep. "You are remarkably cold. Why did you not tell me you were back?" Parker knows I'm asleep yet he's talking.

Why is he talking?

And why am I having such a hard time staying awake to hear his words? I can feel his bare chest against my cheek, and now I'm becoming aware of the fact that I have snuggled against him like a kitten would to a warm pillow. One of my legs is hooked around one of his and I must really be cold because I'm trembling. Again.

"I came out of my office to go check on you but you were right here, looking cute and tangled in my sheets." He murmurs and kisses the top of my head. I squirm against him to try and steal more of his warmth. I hear the door lock and then I become confused. Is there someone else in the room? No, Parker would never let someone see us like this. So, how did the door lock? "Mmmm. You smell good. And you're so soft. My god, why are you so soft?" He has one hand slowly running up and down my arm, and the other is gently playing with the hand that I've flung over his torso.

"Tell me, love, did you ever think this possible?" He continues and I sigh softly. I can practically feel his gaze lingering fondly on the crown of my head. "Back in the asylum, you were so angry with me. You were either glaring at me or yelling. I must admit that I was quite confused. I had left you for this position in order to protect you, but you probably would have been happier if I had stayed. I apologize for leaving you for those long months, but you must understand I did what I had to do in order to protect you. Four months I had to live without you and those were the longest months of my life."

"What's your favorite color?" I whisper softly, and his breath hitches like he can't believe I heard him and am now talking to him.

"Green." He sounds breathless. "Green like your eyes, love."

I open my eyes and roll over a little so I can look at him. He's looking at me like I am the most adorable thing he has ever seen and I smile up at him in return. His eyes search mine desperately and I inch up closer to his face. His eyes widen just a little and he swallows hard. Once I'm closer, I rest my head on his collar bone.

"Your favorite animal is a bird." He reminds and I smile into his skin.

"And your favorite memory is of me." I conclude because the rest of that memory becomes a little unpleasant. That's the day Parker decided he needed to distance himself from me; it's the day he decided he needed a new position. Well he got one, and thank god for that because without this dreaded General position we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be warm and content, snuggled up against Parker, and Parker wouldn't be holding me in his arms.

"What in the heavens did you do to become so extraordinarily soft?" He asks incredibly and I smile. "You are accurately the softest thing I have ever touched." I yawn and press a small kiss to his collar bone. His body tenses up and his hand tightens around mine. The sudden adjustment seems like he's almost warning me.

"Ah, love, best not to start that." He says and sounds like he's struggling to gain control over himself. He moves his hands away from me and presses them firmly to the sheets. Confused, I sit up and his eyes widen. He pushes me back down. "No, don't sit up. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." Ignoring his warning, I sit up again.

"Is it true?" I ask and he furrows his eyebrows. "Is it true that we're leaving in the middle of the night tomorrow?" He sighs like he really didn't want to talk about this. He nods anyway. The dread that went away earlier comes back in a huge wave. This is it. This is our last night and then we're off to battle. I lie back down suddenly and curl up tight against him.

"We are both going to end up in one piece after the battle, love." He assures and I swallow hard. "I shall be the safest soldier out there. Would you like to know why? I will tell you. I am going to be the safest soldier because I know that when all of this is over, I will get to lie in bed with you in my arms every morning and night for the years and years to come. And I do not even care in the slightest if you do not like that because I have no intention of letting you go. That is why we are both going to be fine. You can't get injured because I will not allow it, and I have every reason to refrain from getting injured myself." Well that takes away my doubt about what to do after the battle.

"But what if-"

"Nope." He cuts me off. "There will be no what if's because nothing will happen to either of us." I sigh because there is no arguing with him.

"It would kill me if you got hurt." I whisper aloud mostly to just admit it to myself. It's the truth. I would shatter into a million pieces if anything happened to him.

Parker took my broken heart and fixed it, yet while he was fixing it, he saved a piece for himself. Without Parker, the glue holding the pieces of my heart together would crack and I would be back to square one. I would be back to being numb and thinking the world is just a different level of Hell. There is no life without Parker. And for some reason, that scares me significantly. I have learned to depend upon him which makes me vulnerable.

"Well it is a good thing I am not getting hurt then." He manages and I've never heard him sound so...open. It's almost like I voiced the exact words he was thinking. He clears his throat softly. "We should get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow." And with that, he presses a kiss to my head and we settle into a thick, yet comfortable, silence. We do have a big day tomorrow.

I'll get my battle squad tomorrow and after a few drills, we head out into the darkness to put an end to the Flesh Feeders. I may not agree with what we're doing, but if this is what it takes to keep me out of those padded cells, I'll do it. And if we win and do it in one piece, hopefully I'll be permitted to leave this place like the rest of the soldiers. I'll get to live the life that Parker says we'll have.

I just hope I get a good squad because if not, I'm already dead.