PIPE DREAMS #1 THE TRIP

Day 2. (part 1)

Again, he maneuvered me. As much as Ι wanted to feel that he isn't the one pulling the strings of me, i wasn't successful. He won again. He did what he wanted. I wanted him to respect me. Not, to be his toy. I'm not only for his entertainment. I'm more than these. I deserve something better. I have to realize this at some point. 

I turned my head and looked at him while he was sleeping. He is so handsome. It should be illegal to be that handsome. His light brown hair that look a little bit reddish when light falls on them. His blue green eyes, reminded me the color of the sea in Skopelos. I remember it from a trip there with my friend Liza. His eyes have the exact same color. His warm, sweet smile. Now, he is so close and i can notice the fine details of his facial characteristics. His facial features are all so balanced and harmonious together. I can't see his beautiful eyes because his eyes are shut but i felt so lucky that i had the chance to stare at them a lot and unlucky at the same time because i'm not the only one that they wished to see. His hair are a little bit messy at the moment. The hair that i have run so many times my fingers through them. I can touch him, but i don't know if i should. He is my Nick. Even, if he was never really mine. For me, he will always be my Nick. 

What was that thing that made me to want to come back to the same situation and look forward for this reunion? To wait for a change in him that doesn't seem to happen. I wanted to touch him, to caress him, to feel him. Why don't you love me? Why are you treating me like this? How and why did you become like this? I insisted that i knew a different man, did i though? Was he always like that? It's such a pity. Where will this whole thing lead? It will have to end and everyone to return back to their normal routines. 

He opened his eyes and saw me how i was starring at him. 

"What's going on? Why are you looking at me like this? What are you thinking?", he asked me. 

"Nothing", i answered, acting like i don't know what is he talking about and everything is just fine.

I got up from the bed, wore my underwear and headed to the toilet. I made a shower. I looked my self at the mirror and cleaned the skin under my eyes that had smudge from the eyeliner that had left from yesterday. What am i doing? What am i doing here? Now, that i'm here, i keep going. What else can i do, i thought and came out of the bathroom. The second that i got out, he moved and looked my way. I wasn't looking at him. Wore my clothes and had my back turned to him. With a towel i dryed my hair and went straight to the mirror and took out my brush from my bag and started brushing my hair. I felt that he was watching me but i wasn't paying any attention. And, after i stopped with the brushing, i started rearranging things in my bag and he asked me, "Are you leaving?" 

"Do you want me to leave?", i replied. 

"No. I thought that we gonna spend these days together, that's why i came." 

"Okay. Then what are we doing?" 

"For now, i'm thinking of having a shower too. Then, going for a walk around the city?" 

"Okay." 

He stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Next, he got out, got dressed. We both did some final things, before leaving. We wore our jackets and exited the room. 

Inside the elevator things felt a little bit awkward. We looked briefly at each other and glanced away. I moved forward and i was waiting for him to leave the key of the room to the reception. He came after me and we went outside to the fresh air of the town. We didn't talk till he saw a poster from the previous elections in a column on the street and we started a political conversation. What did i vote, what did he vote and why each one of us voted, what he or she voted. There was still this poster from back then and in a while we might have new elections. Time passed so fast that we didn't even realize it. We end up talking about the economical and political situation of the country. The conversation helped us to stop feeling uncomfortable. It was almost like the way that we were before.