PIPE DREAMS #1 THE TRIP

Day 2. (part 2)

The alarm rang. I shifted my hand to close it. It was dark outside and the room was dark too. I searched for a light switch that was above the bed. Suddenly, i felt his hands pulling me and squeezing me and he made sounds like a wild animal, a randy one. I started laughing and continued my search but i didn't succeed because he pulled me much harder exactly were he was and climbed on top of me and began to kiss me.  In the darkness, i was losing it. I couldn't even see him. I raised my arms to feel his face and run my hands over it, over his chest, over his body and i was trying through touch to understand all those things that i couldn't see. His fingers were getting lost in my body's curves and edges and a moan of pleasure slipped from my lips. 

I wanted him so much, that i felt an uncontrollable and consuming craving, to eat me up. My hands were gripping his tight and well trained big shoulders, grasping them as hard as i could till we reached the most needed climax together and stayed there in each other's arms, heavily breathing, listening at our heartbeats and feeling the hot air that was coming out from our mouths. Without being able to see the face of the other, his fingers were looking for my lips so that he can kiss me again. 

You feel very unique and special when you can't see and you have to rely on your other senses to become your guides and their sensitivity is being heightened. We stayed there for a while lost in the frenziness of the moment. Then, someone had to do something, to move, to turn on the lights and i didn't want at all to leave from there, to get up. Who goes to the cinema, who is interested to go to the cinema. You go to the cinema to watch a story with some other people, a work of fiction, the plot might even be far from the reality and the only story that was interested to watch now, i was holding it in my arms. My History and my Story! I wished that it would end up being for my good. I realized that he could destroy me if that is what he really wants to do. 

I decide to get up, emotional as i was, in the dark, after some time and went to the bathroom. I had to clear my mind and put my thoughts in order, to breath, maybe cry a little. The room was arranged like that, that the light of the bathroom was lighting somehow the room but not too much to blind those who were sleeping in the bed but enough so i can be able to see his face. I turned and looked at him, his eyes were half-opened till our gazes met and he read the tension and the concern in me. His eyes opened wider. I tried to give him a smile but it came out restrained and i found my self inside the bathroom and closed the door behind me. 

My cheeks were red and they were still burning from the intensity of what happened before. But, my heart was bleeding because the more time i spend with him, the more difficult it would be for me to walk away when the time will come. And, we didn't use a condom and i promised to my self that we will always use one, that i would be really strict about that and force him to wear them. But, in the magic of the moment the last thing that i could think, was that. F**k everything! What to say, hey mister, i think you forgot something?! We would had to open the lights, what was there would be lost, would be out of the window. We can't be like we were before. He is gone now. He left. He will leave again and that would be it. Just it. Okay, i won't get pregnant because i'm still taking contraceptive pills. Except that, sex is supposed to be safe and safety isn't only about pregnancy and avoiding that and we are not together anymore. Before, i knew that he wasn't sleeping with other women cause we were all the time together. Now, all the evidence point to that he is sleeping with many others. It's impossible anything else to happen. I should demand the use of condoms. Everyone should be strict about that, it is about your safety that we are talking. I wish there wasn't any danger to begin with and you could just be wild and free. I shouldn't think like that, however what could have happened, already did. We had sex without a condom. If he has an STD, i'm already having it too. For me, he is so clean and healthy that he doesn't have problems like this. I wish him to not have for my sake. I shouldn't play russian roulette with my health. I hope with the other women that he is sleeping at least to use. It's like me, him and all the other women he had sex with, to just had sex all together. It hurts so much to think of him having sex with other women, especially with a specific one that i can think of, now. I remember those pictures on the internet. I can't have him more. I have to cherish these last moments with him. To say goodbye and move on. 

Some tears were coming out from my eyes. I wiped them. I took a deep breath, throwed some water to my face and returned to the room. He acted like he was sleeping. I checked my cell phone to see what time it was and i thought that if he still wants, there is still time to go to the cinema. Maybe, it is for the best to go to the cinema, the more intimate we are getting, the harder it gets. Another solution is to stay in and order something to eat. We can open the television too. Though if we gonna spend our time like this, why not going to the cinema after all and eat outside. Going, might help me to get my self together. I turned on the small light over the bed. 

"Do you want to go to the cinema? There is still time.", i told him. He didn't move, not a bit. He is sleeping now. 

"Heeey", I continued and i shaked him. He made a whining sound. "Come on sleepy head, wake up", I said and shaked him again. 

He opened his one eye and looked at me. He made another whining sound and i was unable to keep my self from laughing.  

"Hey, let's go to the cinema. To not sleep so early. You will sleep when you're dead. Now, get up." 

He opened his other eye too and raised his body to go to the bathroom. Silly boy, i thought and smirked. While he was in the bathroom i turned on the main light of the room and began to get ready.