New beginnings (pernico fanfiction)

Chapter Twelve: What Now?

~Nico's P.O.V~

Im not all that into death. I know being a child of Hades that must  be a huge shock but I couldnt help but tear up a little. Annabeth might have kept Percy from me but she was still my friend.

After the funeral we were told to go back to our cabins for lights out. Normally I would have been straight out of there, avoiding all the strange looks that people used to give me asif the persons death was my fault, but Percy wanted to stay. I didnt know why, maybe to watch the fire or he was getting tired of sitting in his cabin 24/7.

"will...will you stay with me?" he asked, looking down at me slightly since even when we were sitting down he was still taller. A small smile tugged at my lips but I bit it back "Chiron will see us" I say softly as he looks back down. "yeah, sorry your right" he said and I sighed "sure fish stick, ill stay" I say, shrowding us in darkness.

Chiron walked past and Percy waved goodbye but he didnt even turn his head "no one can see us" I say since he looked offended that he had been ignored. "..oh.." he says plainly then an akward silence fell between us.

I stared into the flames as they danced along the wooden tinder, casting orange light over us. I glanced at Percy but his eyes was covered by  his hair, his expression unreadable. "Nico...about yesterday.." I caught my breath.

Nothing had happened since then, I never told him my feelings and we acted like it had never happened. I never forgot though, and I could tell he hadnt either. I kept catching him sneaking glances at me when he thought I was looking but I shrugged it off.

 I still didnt know what to think about yesterday though, I dont know why he told me to kiss him but I was to scared to ask inncase this was all a prank.

"what about it?" I finally asked, my voice quiet though there was no one to hear "..I figure I ow you an explanation.." he says and turned his head to look at me. Over the last few days we had been together his face had hardened, becoming more of a mask to hide the pain he was feeling. His eyes where now sunken and a light purple ran under their rims. His hollow cheek bones where now easy  to spot, wether that was from not eating or crying I didnt know. I had tried to get him to eat  of course but he just pushed away whatever I  placed in front of him.

"..I would like it if you explained some of it" I say cautiosuly and he nods a little "I..I dont know how to explain it. Its a stupid excuse I just  honestly dont know what happened.." he sighed "you were just  so close to me and I felt..safe, like nothing had happened over the week, all I cared about was that  you were with me. You had been so kind and caring and I guess..I just needed you..ive become so dependant on you  Nico that its unbelievble, youve stuck  by me after I went through all of.." he trailed off.

i sat silently, listening to his words. some of it made sense but it didnt answer the question that was nagging at my brain "why did you tell me to kiss you?" i whispered. "..because i wanted you too" he whispered back.

~Percy's P.O.V.~

He turned his head and our eyes locked "y-you what?" he stuttered nevously and I tried to hide a smile. It was true I did want him to kiss me and I couldnt blame him for being confused, one minute I was crying my eyes out over Annabeth then the next I tell him to do that. I loved Annabeth, honestly I did but she was my bestfriend. Over the months that  we were together I guess I realised that and the flare that  we had was slowly dissapearing. When im with Nico though.. I felt like I did with Annabeth only.. it was more real.

 "like I said, youve helped me in so many  ways, staying by me and comforting me.." I say sheepishly "Annabeth was my bestfriend..and I started to feel that way towards her again. I felt horrible leading her on and I was going to tell her everything..then she.." I trailed off.

"so where does that leave us?" he asked quietly. I couldnt read his face, I didnt know if he felt the same way, wether he was disgusted or what. "I dont know.."  I sighed.

"when we were on the quest to defeat Gaia.." he started  "me and Jason went to find Diocletians sceptre" I gave him a confused look "was that when I was in.." I shivered, memories flooding back to me and I squeezed my eyes shut "yeah.."he says sadly.

"we found it..but that wasnt all we found" he says, his voice turning edgy "we met Eros-"

"Cupid?" I translated which earned a nod.

"he got me to admit my worsed fear.." he says, head now hung low "what was it?" I asked softly, the chances that he was going to tell me was small but I felt intriged to ask.

"...." he was silent for a long time until I heard him take a deep shaky breath "...that I loved you.."

~Nico's P.O.V.~

I couldnt see Percys face but I wasnt about to look at his disguted expression, I had to atleast explain first. "You where the first demigod I saw, you protected me, risked your live to make sure me and my sister were safe..from that first day I start developing a liking towards you.." I sighed.

"then you came back with Annabeth..and not my sister....I hated you.." I stayed quiet for a minute, waiting for him to interrupt but he stayed quiet and waited for me to continue. "but..when the skeletons came and you  threw youself in front of me, I just couldnt let them hurt you.." I let it sink in a little before I continued.

"I ran away, afraid of my powers and..and my feelings. It was hard to be around you, espically when Annabeth was with you but it was.." I thought for the right word, it had killed me to be near him but I wasnt going to say that "..barable.." I finish.

"Cupid made me admit all of it, how I hated myself..how I hated you and that I wasnt jealous of you but of Annabeth....Jason heard it all..said he didnt judge me and he hasnt told anyone.." I say.

I felt tears forming in my eyes, he probably hated me now, thinking I was some kind of freak "Nico.." he said softly "Im...I-Im sorry" I whimpered.

He placed his hand under my chin and made me look up at  him, one of my  tears sliding onto his finger "..I love you too" he whispered.

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