Promise: BTS Jimin smut

Part 27

I walk out of the house with my head low, my hands balled into fists at my sides. I'm not sure whether I should be more angry or sad, my brain a jumble of different emotions.

I can't believe him. I can't believe that he would trust the words coming out of Justin's mouth. What does that make me? He believed what some random guy said over the girl that he just asked to be his girlfriend.

I know that he has never had a girlfriend before. I know that this whole trust between two people is new for him, but it is for me too. If some girl came up to me and told me that he was sleeping around with her, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. I would look at the signs and put two and two together. I would like to think that I could trust him, but apparently that trust is one sided.

"CJ! CJ, wait!"

I don't stop walking, ignoring Suzy as she runs after me. Why can't she just leave me alone? I have nothing against her, but I would rather not speak with anyone at the moment.

It seems like nothing is going my way right now, a sigh leaving my mouth as she grabs onto my wrist and pulls me to a stop. I could get out of her weak grip easily enough, but then again I don't really want to hurt her. She has been nothing but nice so far, and I feel as if her intensions are good. I just don't want to be bothered right now.

"Come back to the house" she says when I turn around to face her, her eyes pleading with me. "He's just angry and confused. He'll come around soon enough."

I shake my head, a tired smile on my face as she frowns.

"I'm not going to go in there and try and convince him of my innocence when he shouldn't have accused me in the first place" I say quietly, lifting my head as I try and stay strong. "He should be willing to listen to what I have to say, but it looks like I would just be wasting my breath on him."

"That's not true" she protests, making me chuckle.

"Listen Suzy, just forget about it. It obviously isn't going to work out between the two of us."

I sigh, "and I know how you feel about him. Maybe you should give it a shot."

"No" she shakes her head, a frown still etched onto her pretty face. "I've seen the way he looks at you. There's no way I could replace you in his eyes even if I wanted to. Just.....just come back."

I smile gently before removing her hand from around my wrist.

"It was nice meeting you" I utter before turning around and continuing on my way, picking up the pace when I feel a few raindrops fall down from the sky.

She doesn't follow me, and I'm glad. If she had, she would have seen my nose redden as I let a few tears escape from my eyes, them camouflaging with the rain as it falls onto my face. I wrap my arms around my body as if I am trying to keep myself from falling apart, my shoulders shaking as I try and calm myself down.

"Aish! What is wrong with me?" I ask myself aloud, smiling through the pain as I continue to walk. "I'm so weak, crying over a guy."

I'm not even sure why I am crying. I haven't really cried since my brother was killed in front of me, me able to lock my emotions away since then. I just feel so hurt, the pain of thinking that I could trust someone just for them to lose trust in me almost unbearable. He's the first guy I have even been interested in romantically, Justin the only other guy I have slept with. Just the fact that he threw me away so easily is making it hard for me to breathe.

I'm soaking wet by the time that I get back to Justin's house, my socks uncomfortably wet as I take my shoes off and walk up the stairs to the room that I stay in while I'm here. I pass by Justin's office and the door is open, giving me a clear view of his smug face. I don't bother saying anything to him though. I walk right past him, ignoring his gloating words as they follow me up the stairs.

I immediately strip out of my clothes and turn the shower on, putting it on the coldest setting. I know I'll need it, just wanting to forget all that has happened today. That's what I am best at after all, drowning myself in drugs and alcohol until I forget about my problems.

I open up the top drawer of my dresser and pick up the bag that holds my stash of Molly, looking at its contents as I open it. I used to use this a lot before I met Jimin, him able to distract me from all of the negative thoughts that had been swirling around in my head at the time. Now, I don't hesitate to take a pinch before placing it on my tongue, my face screwing up at the bitter taste as I swallow.

I go back over to the bathroom and look into the mirror as I wait for the drug to work, gazing at my reflection as I do so. I look horrible; broken. My hair sticks to my face and neck, my eyes rimmed with red from crying earlier. My hands shake as I smile condescendingly at myself, finally feeling my body begin to heat up due to the drugs.

I step into the shower and sit down on the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest as the cold water contrasts the heat from my body. And then I just stay there, my head resting on my knees as I wallow in self-pity and misery.