Promise: BTS Jimin smut

Part 32

Jimin has lost all hope by the second week. He had been hoping that CJ would be able to look past his mistake, but it seems as if not even she could get past the betrayal.

He knows that he deserves it too. He really hurt her, and he will never be able to go back to that day and do it over again. He will never be able to take back what he said and the way that he had acted no matter how hard he hopes and wishes.

Why is it that you realize how much you care about someone after you mess everything up? He knew that he liked CJ more than he has ever liked any other girl before. He already knew that, which is why he asked her to be his girlfriend that day. What he didn't know was how hard it was going to be without her, it as if there is a part of his heart missing now that he has been without her for so long.

That's also why he had lashed out the way he did that day. This is the hardest that he has ever fallen for someone, and it was a new feeling for him. He was used to being cold to everyone, using girls who would throw themselves at him. He had never met someone like CJ, someone who had him thinking about them as soon as they left the room.

He could finally be himself again, not letting his occupation dictate the way he acted around others. That's why he had been so hurt by Justin's words. That's why, although the logical thing would have been to ignore him, he had lashed out and gotten mad. He had finally opened himself up to someone, and he was scared that what Justin said was true. That he really wasn't good enough.

That's no excuse though, and he knows it. He just wishes that he could take back what he said. He would do anything if that meant that CJ would be in his arms again.

CJ is at a loss as well. She doesn't want to go back to Jimin, which is understandable. What he said had cracked the walls that she had placed around her heart since her brother died. He had already been breaking them down piece by piece just with his presence, but she hadn't thought that letting him in was a bad thing. The hurtful words he had spoken had demolished the rest of the wall guarding her heart, causing it to shatter.

On the other hand, she doesn't think he really meant what he said. If he did, he wouldn't have looked so broken as he had left her back at Justin's. He had looked like he was about to cry himself, her heart aching at the sight of him looking that way. She had wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms and hold him, her heart yearning for the warmth he had always supplied her with.

She had to let him go though. She had to think about what she was going to do, but she knows what her answer is now.

She has never felt as cared for as she does when she is with Jimin. No, she doesn't think he loves her, but she imagines that's what it would feel like to be loved by someone. He makes her feel safe and protected, all of her troubles melting away when in his presence. Yeah, he may have started out with a slight obsession with her in the beginning, but that had slowly turned into feelings of care and adoration.

What's more, her thoughts are always clear when Jimin is around. He really was able to push her thoughts of self-doubt and depression away, him distracting her from reality. Her brother's death still haunts her sometimes, even though she knows that it wasn't her fault. She still has dreams about it though, them keeping her up at night and preventing her from even thinking about leaving Justin. When she falls asleep next to Jimin though, her head is only filled with clear thoughts, his heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

So yes, she knows exactly what her answer is as she gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom. She checks her reflection in the mirror before heading out the door and leaving the house behind.