⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️⚠️
11pm.........12am..............1am...........2am.........
Time went by slowly.... i was drained........... exhausted............ I didn't want to be here........ I shouldnt have done what i did......... if I didn't I wouldn't be in the hospital with macy crying by my side or a worried sick Brooklyn and Mikey, andy and jack rushing through the doors
Rewind back to 7:30pm
I was still crying at the sight of rye and that girl.
I cant understand why he just left me without even leaving me.
Wait i can...... he deserves better than me
He deserves someone who doesn't hide their feelings.
Someone beautiful, skinny, smiley and who will give him everything.
Someone whos not me
M: Alena come here
She held me in her arms, Jackson was even on FaceTime to see if i was ok
A: im Sorry
J: dont you dare be sorry for what some ass has done, you deserve better than him.... and that little one deserves a better dad than that
A: wait.... how do you know
M: i told him...... sorry
A: no its ok
J: and even if she didn't..... I would have found out.... you'll start showing soon
A:yeah I guess...... thanks Jackson.....its nice knowing i have someone like a big brother to me thats not Brooklyn ahah
J: no problem lil sis
M: do you know when your appointment is for the baby
A: next week
M: im coming with you
A: definitely
We talk until about 8:30pm and then i get in the shower
I trace circles on my stomach with my finger and start sobbing........
I got out the shower put on some joggers, a oversized hoodie, throw my hair up in a messy bun and finish cleaning my makeup off that didn't wash off in the shower
I head back out to the living room and sit with macy
M: how you feeling
A: i had a panic attack, my anxiety is quite high, my depression has arrived to say hello and im drained but other than that..... im ok
M: well that sounds bad...... lets try get your mind off of things...... what do you wanna do
A: erm....... can we do a dance or sing..... that would really help and it's something I would love to do
M: yeah sure..... how about we sing and do a cover now then we can dance tomorrow
A: yeah ok what should we sing
M: I'll let you choose
A: ok can we sing the song i wrote happier
M: ........ but isn't that the song you wrote for max
A:..... yeah.......
M: maybe pick another one
A: ...... yeah good idea erm......how about you sing a song and I'll sing a song then we can post them and suprise each other
M: sure ok..... im going to go to my room and use my piano because i have the perfect song
A: ha same I'll use mine too or my guitar
M: ahah later
A: later
I headed to my room and sat at the piano thinking......
Milo came and lay on my feet..... couldn't help but smile
But that faded quickly when i saw the pic of me and the boys on the window where i left it...... tears came to my eyes..... i picked up milo and took him to macys room then ran to the bathroom......
I locked the door and started to break down to pieces........
I look through the cabinets....... grab some pill bottles and sit on the floor
I stare at the pills for a few minutes
I turn the cap......
Pour out the pills......
"Im sorry but you deserve better than this world"
And take them....
I open another bottle and another until ive took 3 bottles of pills
"We'll be together soon...... I promise"
I try standing up but then just collapse with a loud BANG
In a few seconds i hear macy smacking on the door and shouting for me to open the door
I try to speak but i cant...... the words cant escape my mouth........
Her voice starts to fade..... and I realize what ive done.........
Darkness overtakes and im passed out......
*BACK TO 2AM*
I start crying when brook runs over to me with the boys...... everyone there but rye
Al: ....im..... so..... sorry
I can barely get my words out im crying that much
B: its ok now...... your here thats all that matters now
Ma: brook can i talk to you for a minute
B: sure
They leave the room
I look to the guys they are crying
Al: im so sorry guys.... I really am
Mikey comes over and hugs me
Mi: im just glad to see you still here...... we all are
Al: wheres rye......
An: he should be here soon im not sure when
Al:ok
Al: mikey
Mi: yeah
Al: do they know
Mi: no but you should tell them
J: what dont we know
Al: well...... im pr—
At that moment rye busts through the door
R: oh thank god
Hes got really red puffy eyes..... he's been crying
Al: yeah.........
R: how are you...
Al:............
R: whats wrong.......
Al:i-
Macy and Brooklyn walk back in
Ma: alena.......
Al: whats going on
Then the girl rye was with in nandos walks in
Al: are you kidding me
Ma: alena calm down thats not who you think she is
An: alena this is Ria...... ryes Sister
Al: wait..... what..... but ........ nandos...... bich im so confused
Everyone lets out a slight sigh of relief and a giggle when they hear me say that because its like how i always talk..... im always swearing
Ri: ...... hi
Al: hey
Ry: what was wrong....
Al: well..... i was at the mall yesterday and i was In nandos and i saw you and her and I thought...
Ry: dont finish that....... I would never cheat on you or leave you.......
I start crying because I realize what ive done...... what ive taken away
Ja: you never got to finish what you were saying earlier before rye came in
Oh god
Al: im...... pregnant
What will happen next..........
