You may have never heard of the half horrifying, half hilarious ship that is Severus Snape x Lucius Malfoy.
Well, allow me to enlighten you!
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@alexanderavery998 used this beautiful gif first so props to her! Snape's smile sliding off his face has me dying.
I'll be honest: I enjoy this pairing. I don't ship it, mind you, but I think it's quite funny and I have ever since I read a crack fanfic featuring them together.
In the description of this book it says "all the snape ships that exist in the hp fandom, and why they're all toxic," but here's the thing: they're all toxic because Snape is a toxic person. He has obsessive tendencies, he's controlling, he's the epitome of unhealthy relationships.
If we ignore all that, one might say that Snucius could actually work. I mean, they're quite similar. They're both Slytherins, both really prejudiced, both into the Dark Arts, the list goes on.
However, I think Snucius would end up being, overall, an unhealthy relationship, because both Snape and Lucius enjoy insulting people. A lot. They'd be endlessly cruel to each other, making pointed remarks and that kind of thing, which isn't a good thing in a relationship. Lucius needs someone like Narcissa to balance him out, someone with similar values but a different nature.
Also, I just can't imagine them doing anything couple-y like holding hands or...the horror...having sex. Ahh! The very thought makes me want to vomit. No, Snape and Lucius are better off as passive-aggressive friends. A funny pairing in a crackfic and nothing more.
