What Labels Cause

Nick

I really messed up this time. Cornelia promised they'd never find out. If I stopped I'd be punished. My family name would be destroyed. The love of my life and best friend just saw me naked with her mom in the room. I've succeeded in keeping it within the family. Cain probably won't forgive me, I don't want to talk to anyone else. He will say I'm SOL and deserved it. I know I am. I hurried walking out after Mercedes, but Cornelia stopped me. The movement making my jaw throb from her steel punches.

"Just a minute Nicholas." Her red nails tap on my sore back. I tense at her touch.

"Hello?" She says sternly. I turn around and hate on her perfect features.

"What Cornelia. The cats out of the bag, I did my part, it's over." I walk out of the room.

"She won't want you, neither will Lexus when she finds out, Nick." She laughs a bitter laugh.

"They want nothing to do with you and you're their mother, your husband won't come near you with a ten foot pole when he finds out, so really I don't care. I'm ashamed and honestly nothing's going to stop you." I push past her and walk down the stairs.

"I have the videos, I'm a great actress, don't think I won't do it. I own you, you little bastard." Her voice turns deadly. I straighten my shoulder and walk away. I'm screwed.

Getting to the foyer I reach for my jacket.

"Nick don't go after her, she needs her space. Leave her be." Elsa says with a hand on my arm. She smiles sadly at me.

"Please. I can't, she's going to hate me. I need to explain." She shakes her head and steps in front of me.

"I'm going to have to have the guard escort you if you follow. I'm sorry, but you need to leave." the disappointment bright in her eyes. I sigh and my phone goes off. Looking down I read the text.

Lexus: meet me at the park by my house in 5 minutes, don't be late.

"Do you know where Lexus went?"

"No, I don't have a clue. Do you?"

"She just texted me saying to meet her."

"You two need to talk." She nods her head and opens the front door, I nod back and walk down to my car. Getting in I slam my fist against the steering wheel. I fucked up. I drive up the drive, down the street to the little park. Getting out I spot a perfectly put together Lexus. She's beautiful, but I don't know why I can't feel the same way for her as I do as her sister.

"I see you showed up." Her voice surprised.

"Yeah." I say cautiously, sliding my hands in the from pockets of my jeans. I walk slowly to her, sitting down on the wooden bench.

"I'm not sure where to start." Her bright, blue eyes connect with mine. I see the heavy sadness in them. The wind blows, making her light blonde hair blow around her face.

"I know, why don't we start with how much of an ass I am?" I try, she frowns back.

"You really hurt me Nick. You knew how I felt and you used me, you didn't care about me or my feelings, you only saw my sister in me." She forces a hard laugh. All I do is nod. It's the truth.

"It's not even the fact that I wanted you to like me, it's more then that. I fell hard for you,I offered everything to you and you took it greedily, that was my first time having sex. I was waiting until marriage, you convinced me it was okay if you made love to me. Love, nick, not rebound sex. I was stupid, you've never wanted me. You made up some lame story in front of my sister. That made it a thousand times harder. And you know what Nick? The summer my best friend died, you told me you were falling for me, more and more each day. I gave my heart to you that day. You promised you'd never break it, but once again I was stupid enough to believe I could be loved by you, or any other guy. This sort of thing makes girls have terrible thoughts of all guys in general. But most of all, I just want to know why you did this to me." Her eyes brim with unshed tears, threatening to spill over. I didn't know I did this much to her. I feel like shit.

"I honestly don't know what to say to fix this. I honestly am sorry, I was so wrong to do this to you. I don't know, I just wanted...I don't know, I know she'll never love me. I know I said those words to you, but I've changed since then. I'm not that Nick..and I'm not the guy for you, I'm terrible for you." Such a lame response but I don't know the right way to express how sorry I am...

"Well...that's better than I expected. But not only have I lost you, I've lost everyone else. My own sister-"she chokes up.

"My own sister hates me right now, you just don't understand how painful that is. She's all I have left." Tears stream down her perfectly made up face, mascara dripping down her cheeks. I reach over and wipe them away, pulling her close.

"Don't." She whispers, pulling away, wrapping her arms around herself.That stung. I know I'm an ass but to not even let me comfort, that hurts.

"Sorry?"

"Stop, just stop okay?" She wipes her eyes and looks forward. Something's really off.

"What's going on? I know I hurt you lex, but there has to be more, you're not acting the same as a heart broken person." Her tears run down her face as she whispers something.

"What?"

"I had an abortion." Her cool voice sends chills down my spine. Fuck me. She breaks down into sobs and tries to pull herself together. I sit, shocked. I would've been a dad. Anger fuels me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demand.

"I tried, at the party. I tried. You told me you don't want me and you love my sister. I knew you wouldn't want our baby." Our baby. My chest tightens.

"Thank you." Relief fills me. I'm a terrible guy, I know. I couldn't be a father I'm only seventeen.

"It wasn't my choice." She says so quietly, I do a double take. Pain fills her face.

"What?" She gets up and walks to her car, she doesn't look back.

Wasn't her choice?

-----

"Hey man, it's Nick. Please call me back I need your advice, I know I'm a dick, just please dude." I leave another voicemail on Cain's phone.

"FUCK!" Chucking my phone against the room I cringe at the noise of it hitting against the wall.

"Nick what the hell?" My older sister, Summer, yells. She barges in my room and looks pissed.

"Go away."

"Screw you, what's up your anus?! That scared the shit out of me!" I forgot her room is right next door. She's never home, she goes to college.

"My bad. Leave?" I stare at the door, trying to make my point extra clear.

"You're such an ass."

"You should stop swearing so much, it's unladylike."

"Stop. I'm mad at you, you've been brooding and all depressed being a moody bitch, not saying what happened, now you scared me, making my adrenaline kick in from jarring me awake, causing me to swear!" She rushes out, clearly frustrated.

"I think the only moody bitch is you, are you on your period again? Damn, every time you're home!" She huffs and storms out of my room, slamming my door as hard as she can. I know she wants to know what's up, but I'll get bitched out for hours, days even. I broke her number one rule:don't knock a girl up. All I know what to do is shut down. My sisters home and that not an option.

My phone rings from across the room, it sounds funny but I pick it up anyways hoping it's Cain. The cracked screen is hard to read.

"Hello?"

"Nick, it's Mercedes. kayakers found her, thankfully they were doctors, she's in the ICU right now I can't say much but I thought you should know." Her voices cracks.

"Elsa where? Is she going to be okay?"

"Goodbye." She hangs up. Clenching my hair in my hands I silently scream.

I've fucked up so hard.