Paper Cigarette

2015-01-01 - Thursday (Areia, Portugal)

2015-01-01 – Thursday (Areia, Portugal)

... dancing myself... even though I have a massive headache from a hangover and every time I strike the keyboard its' resonating strokes creates an intense pounding in my empty echoing skull...right now this is the emotion du jour... as for any other emotions I may feel during the new year... depending on the availability, I'll either consult a psychiatrist, the liquor store for the weekly specials to solve my problems or divinity... I know, I am all heart with myself... last night's party was oddly strange... when speaking Portuguese, people picked up on my accent and questioning ensued, I was a novelty because I can speak three languages...add to this that there were other foreigners and some were feeling homesick...needless to say, we ended up forming an alliance with the consumption of booze as our common platform to drown sorrows...

...oceanic coffee shop...taking in deep breaths of ocean air...I was hoping this cool air would clear my head and maybe drive down a notch the nauseous feeling in my stomach...but like pretty much anything in life...you reap what you sow...usually this time of year I plan for my physical checkup within the next few months... interesting how I take care of my body but do nothing for my mind other than indulge in alcohol... this is also the day when most reflect on the year gone by and maybe make resolutions... I'm no exception to this concept... but go a step further and examine the path the previous year left me on... along with this day of reflection, I also need to confront my fears... notably, the second experience I had with Carmen's mom while I was walking the Camino in 2013...

... hat trick... even as I sit here in front of my laptop...words fail me as to how I will start recounting this experience...within a few afternoon hours while walking the Camino, everything in my life changed... the way I see it, the Camino is divided into 3 phases... :

.....the first is the physical...aching muscles and foot (shoe) blister festival... unknown/new town every day... where is the albergue (Spanish for refuge or hostel)... what kind of people will you meet in the dormitory... where to eat, if there is a restaurant nearby or do you snack on whatever the local convenience store may have, usually bread, cheese and cold cuts... wash clothes and hope they'll be dry for the following day...

...the second phase is the mental...all your preconceived notions of how things should be in your world are scrapped as now improvising is the new agenda... things like work, school, airplane return deadline all seem so futile because for the first time one's daily life is simple...get up, put back on yesterday's smelly clothes cause everyone else stinks and so do you, walk, eat and sleep...and most important, enjoy the view cause this is truly a case where it is not the destination but the journey...

... 3rd... once you have uncluttered your mind with phases one and two then kicks in the third phase which is what I call the spiritual... by this time you are walking in a Zen state of mind...so intense is this phase that you are in a perpetual introspective and meditative mood... at that time I did not know this, but be careful as this state of mind opens the door to the other world...

...drive away...not only was everything up to this point in my life made clear, both in terms of accomplishments and failures... but it was the lucidity perspective which had me smiling...love may be a drug but hope is the driving force... I knew by this time I was well into the phase three of the Camino...it was also the first time in weeks the sun was brilliant and warm... I was in sync with my environment... after a quick sandwich lunch by a roman built bridge, I started walking and the path followed alongside a river... and I was thinking how lucky I am to be here, such beauty...only the river water, insects and my footsteps graciously and harmoniously disturb the silence...