The Analyzing of Ticci Toby by Timothy Wright

Entry #9

My name is Timothy Wright, otherwise known as Masky. This is the ninth entry in my analysis of the individual known as Tobias Erin Rogers, aka Ticci Toby.

Like most of the others, sleep has always eluded me or been a challenge. Whether it be via nightmares or insomnia, we're all sleep deprived. Except Jeff, he sleeps like an angel, the little shit.

Us proxies, mainly Kate and I, are the lightest sleepers. Trained by Slender's cruel attacks and vicious wake up calls, we awake at the smallest of sounds. So much as a creak in the floorboards and we're rocketing out of bed, grabbing for our weapons. Even if I still hated Toby, I wouldn't use the ear plugs just for sake of habit from years of waking up easily.

Toby is no different, normally. Lately, with the lack of sleep, he's been getting to be a heavier sleeper. Nightmares have wrecked him enough that he's exhausted constantly. Of course, it's not deemed a real problem until it messes with his work, which it hasn't.

Now, I can't say I'm exactly against the heavy sleeper he's grown into. He's pretty nice when he sleeps. He mumbles in a different language, which creeped me out at first, and twitches, but he's calmer. And, he cuddles in his sleep. I'm serious. He latched onto me in seconds like a heat seeking snake and hadn't let go for hours.

It was disgustingly...cute? Annoying? Terrifying? God, he drives me insane.

Either way, it provided more information, and I'm always accepting of it.

Someone like Toby wouldn't be expected to be a heavy sleeper. Killers never are. However, he slept like the dead. It was a nightmare free night, thankfully. I'm not sure how I'd deal with that situation. Imagine that, the bipolar twerp waking up without his security hood, goggles, or mask in a room that isn't his. On top of that, with me held down by his form.

And I do mean held down. He practically had me pinned down and not in the way you would expect. I had a whole conversation with Brian about it after he inevitably sought me out. I feel like he has a second sense for me sometimes, but that's not the point.

And, while I do stand by my comments on Toby being somewhat...pleasant in his sleep, he's also violent.

I'm not sure how long I was asleep when Toby punched the shit out of my jaw. It was, luckily, the only injury delivered to me during the entire incident. I forgot how hard his knuckles are with how little skin is left on them. Built up scar tissue and bone, that's all he is.

After that, I tried escaping, which did not work, and earned a nasty set of ten crescent shaped indents in my left bicep. I was worried he was gonna rip open my jacket, which no amount of cute face can make up for. Thankfully, it was fine.

I was awake for a while before I decided to just embrace the situation, and Toby, and sleep while I could. He was gone when I woke up, which made me worried.

I wasn't sure if he got spooked waking up in a different place or if it was because of me, or if he had stuff to do, or whatever it was. I'm still not sure, I haven't left the room yet. I was too conflicted, so I just sat down and started writing. I forced myself through six pages worth of stuff about Eyeless Jack and Kate each before I even attempted writing this.

Toby is so confusing sometimes, and I know I can't blame him for that. It wouldn't be fair, would actually be pretty hypocritical really. But, it's still true.

He can be cute one minute, stoic and murderous the next, and then laughing like pure sunshine after that. It's people like him that make me nervous, even without all the feelings I have surrounding his presence.

I probably sound deranged. Perhaps I am.

I don't know how to feel about it all.

I close my eyes and I can still feel his breath on my right cheek and his nails threatening to draw blood on my left arm. I can feel my heart going wild and my brain screaming not to move. And, as well as all the cute things, I can still feel the ache in my jaw from his fist. No, I will never let that go.

Actually, that's perfect. I'll talk to EJ. Unlike most people, he'll actually help me. Well, he might try to stab me again, but it's far more efficient than asking someone like BEN to help. I'll have to wait a few hours, Jack won't be back home until late tonight.

While I wait, I'll continue writing.

I could sort out some theories and questions I had. They do pertain to Toby. Might as well.

My favorite theory is the one where, should I call him the full name of Tobias, he might be just as affected by it as I am. Nobody calls him it, not even Kate or EJ. Toby has always been just Toby, Ticci Toby.

Perhaps I'll slip it in conversation soon and see how he reacts. Privately, of course.

I have a nagging question, one I've been thinking about for a while. Why Toby removes his walls around me. As far as I know, he does this for no other person. I'll also ask EJ about it, discreetly.

He seems to treat them as protection against the world around him, as if they hide his flaws. Physically, maybe they do. Yet, he removes them in here, a place outside of his comfortable room. A place he could be vulnerable.

With no inclination towards a romantic aspect, I have a theory about the answer.

Assuming Toby is still as anxious about our friendship as I am and as he seemed to be the last few months, I believe he may be doing this as a way to establish a layer of trust we've been missing. We kill together, and yes that requires a ton of trust, but we also needed a layer of a different kind. It's quite smart of him to pick up on that.

Also assuming I am the only one, it could also mean he trusts me more than anyone else. Perhaps, in his mind, showing me the face behind his walls is a grounded feeling. Like, he spent too much time hiding away that he wants someone to know every inch of him?

Maybe I'm completely wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.

I still hear the gasp he made when EJ shoved me down the stairs. He knows it wouldn't kill me, my proxy mark would have to be ruined first, but he still worried. Even if it's purely friendship, it makes me feel, I don't know, warm inside? Less like I ruin the world being alive?

I feel like vomiting, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever written.

EJ will be back soon. Until then, I might try grabbing Kate and talking to her about Toby's recent behavior. She knows him pretty well, so her opinion is valuable.

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I'm so excited to be posting this! I've read so many nice messages and comments and I can't help but be excited. I'm absolutely in love with writing and creepypasta, so the support I've been given is, much like how Masky feels, warm as a mothers hug! If you ever want to ask questions or talk out your theories in the comments, DONT HESITATE! Half the time it helps me edit my chapters to fit the material properly and add more the certain scenes. Have a good day/night and enjoy what is to come very soon!