there'll Be a Miracle.

/wounds/

he said "you have a wound. I don't want to love someone who is hurt."
I know.
I know I'm hurt.
I know it's more than anyone.

But I don't want to admit it. I know I will add more pain to my chest.

I cry every time before going to sleep.

I regret everything.

And now ... I start close myself.
closing myself and start often alone.

I often ask myself "when do I have a genuine relationship? When can I stop crying for a while?"

oh god ... this hurts a lot.

and again, I hid it for myself.
hiding everything with a smile.

increased my laughter.

even though in the end it was all a lie.

and I realized that I was lying to myself all this time.

Swallowing a million words that could make me feel better.

But it was not enough.

I needed more than a million words full of lies.

and I'm crying.
in front of all my friends.

become weak for small reasons.
Actually, that's not the reason.
I lied about the reason.

and even though I've tried not to be surprised by what happened afterwards.
i can't .
almost everyone is away from me.

I should have known that people mingled for happiness.

I should have realized that there wasn't always someone who would help me.