People

Alice

I sat there in Emma's "office" if you could call it that.

I shifted my weight over to one side and let out a long sigh. 'I have trouble putting thoughts into words,' is what I meant by it, but of course only I knew that. Sometimes I wish I could let my mouth run unfiltered by my preoccuping thoughts, but then I would end up in so many situations. Not all of them would be bad either, but I would just rather stay quite than even open up.

Everyone always said they would listen. Truth is no one ever did care about little own me, with my made up worlds and make believe people.

I had always wished I had friends that cared. Someone who would hear my thoughts pour out and drain onto them. I'd drown out the world for a moment with them. For some one to listen like they felt what I did. Patiently, not a care about how they would solve it, or how this was all from past issues I needed to get over. Those were Doctors, and I'd had plenty of my share.

I needed a friend.

Now that Emma sat in front of me I had to choose which she was: Doctor or friend?

I had one full look at her before deciding that this had gone on long enough.

Whatever she was I was going to tell her my story.

Or atleast what I remember from it.

-

I was born somewhere in Rhode Island. I was never told where because when Mom gave birth to my brother four years later in the same place we lost her in the proccess. Dad never let us talk about it and since I was so young I lost the memory of ever being there with her. All I remember is the drive back from the hospital.

I was in the back, strapped in to my car seat with the new baby on the other side. He was so chubby and pink that I had thought he was a little pig.

I looked up at the passengerside where Mom was supposed to be. She always, alwaya rode passanger. No matter what. Dad didn't believe that she should have to drive. He would always say she was to beautiful to be seen driving a piece of junk Hundai and that one day he'd get her that minivan she always wanted.

I was confused why mom wasn't in her chair and looked up at dad. Daddy? Where's Mommy?

He got real mad and just said, Gone. Now shut up. Don't ever bring it up again. There was a long silence after that.

We statred taking weird turns that weren't leading to our house. i got curious again and opened my mouth. Daddy, where are we going?

I'm dropping both of you at you're auntie's. She's gonna take care of you while I get some stuff sorted out. It'll be atleast a few weeks.

I liked my auntie, but I wanted to go home.

By the time we got there she had already fixed me an inflatable and gotten out my younger cousin's old crib for Ruben.

Dad left right after say a quick thank you and a goodbye to us. We didnt see him until Christmas a few moths later.

I was young enough to see he wasn't all gone, but old enough to see him drinking. he left in the morning without saying anything to anyone.

He missed my birthday in June and Ruben's first in July. Soon I started Kindergarden and I thought less about him.

I had my cousin Neil to keep me company though. My auntie wanted more kids, but she almost lost Neil and didnt want to risk it. We were just filling the hole in her heart.

Around Christmas again Dad showed up, this time he had some papers for my auntie and uncle. He was giving us to them. Told us we were better off without him.

Thats when my nightmares started.

I'd wake up in the middle of the night remebering nothing of what I dreamt, I only knew it was bad.

I remeber one night specificaly where I woke up terrified and some one was hugging me. I though it was Neil since our rooms were opposite towards eachother, but it didn't sound like Neil.

It hushed me back to sleep then hugged me until I fell back asleep.

I couldn't see who it was at the time, but I wasn't scared. I felt safe in it's arms, like I did when mom hugged me.

The next morning I thanked Neil for it and he said he haden't done it. To avoid sounding insane I told him I must've dreamt it.

The same thing happened for a few nights before I had the courage to ask who it was.

I'm Peter, your mother sent me to look after you, He said.

I smiled and thanked him.

We became bestfriends after that. I asked him why I could only see him at night and he said it was because he slept during the day.

I believed that he kept me from the nightmares and protected me from them, but in reality he was the nightmare in disguse.

He started to talk about how he and I could be friends forever, but only if I did something for him. He wanted me to take Ruben and throw him down the stairs in his stroller.

I wasn't going to do that he was my brother. I told him no and he pushed on until I threw myself down and broke my arm.

A lot of things happened like this throughout the years, but they became less and less.

I had given into selfharm by the time I was eleven and wore longsleeves everyday. In the summer I wore barcelets to hide them because everyone started to question my longsleeves.

I made it to sophmore year with minimal incendents, but then he came back, and now he had friends.

All the voices in my head were pounding and I couldn't take it anymore.

I grabbed my blade and sliced across my skin watching the crimson liquid pour out. I wanted it to be over.

Neil found me an called 911 imediatly.

They fixed me up at the hospital and diagnosed me as a shizophrenic. From there I was enrolled in People for free. something about me being a volunteer subject and reciving free treatment if I was willing.

I signed up to lift the worries off of the family and ended up in here.

-

As soon as I finished I felt a huge weight lift off me.

Emma sat with her elbows in her lap and hands on her face.

Expressionless she nodded and got up.

Alice, I'd like to interest you in a new procedure.

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H-hello world, I'm soo happy right now!!! I saw last night that we hit 100 reads!!! YAY!!!

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has supported this story so far and for those yet to come. I know it might not seem like it but these things make my day. evey time I see even one or two more reads I want to hug you all. And It makes me sad that I can't, so this is my hug to everyone who has read, voted, and/or commented on it. It means alot to me that there are still people in this world who care. I love you all.

_3ianney