how the cards fell (joker origin story)

how to play chess with a shrink

Dr Jonathan Crane sat across from me, studying memory-less man sat down in front of him. "Have you been told why you are here and not in a normal hospital, Mr Doe?" he asked. In truth I had no idea but, I wanted to have some fun so I said I had. 

"Can you tell me?" he asked clutching his pad and pen. Again, he was studying me intently. I could feel the curiosity snaking out of his mouth, his eyes and his whole face. Poking me in the face, trying to bleed out the answers from my brain.

Grinning, I thought of a hilarious thing to say. "I chucked a baby and it's mother out the window of a very high building and they went splat!" I falsely explained smashing my hands together as I said splat. I then began rocking and laughing and then I abruptly stopped and stared at his face. His funny face. I observed him as he scribbled down hurried notes. His face,it wasZq the pure image of shock and horror. It was hilarious.     

"OK, well, this is very different to the one on your file, Mr Doe, are you sure this is what you were told?" he interrogated further. He looked up from his small black notebook and waited expectantly for an answer.

"No, I lied, I wasn't told anything, oh, you should have seen your face! it was hilarious, go on then doc, how did I end up in the nut house?" I answered him beginning to giggle again.

"You were found in the middle of a street in Gotham, you had a severe head injury and you were covered in blood and you were immediately sent to Gotham general hospital immediately and you were unconscious for two weeks and you briefly woke up shouting bloody murder and saying, you will kill everyone if its the last thing you do, you were then anaesthetised and transferred here, do you really not remember this?" the shrink half-explained and half-asked.

    "I have no recollection of such an event taking place doc, say do you want to play a game of chess, I really want to play chess, I think it will be a right laugh, don't you?" I ask him hopefully.

Dr crane simply looked at me and set free a reluctant smile. "Sure, why not? we have a board downstairs" he replied pleasantly with an undertone of sinister curiosity. He then stood up and left the room saying he would go and collect it and to stay where I am. Not that I'm going anywhere.

Ten minutes later, the doc came back in with the checkered chess board. He placed it down and arranged the pieces in a most particular way. Each and every piece appeared to be directly in the middle of each square. The white pieces were placed directly front of of me while the black pieces were in front of the doc. "You go first," he instructed rather grimly.

"ooh, very commanding I like it," I commented in a mockingly flirtatious manner. I grinned at him and he just frowned distractedly. It was almost as though he had no concept of laughter. It's quite funny really to think that someone may be incapable of such a funny thing.

I moved one of the middle pawns ahead two spaces and observed as the doc moved a knight ahead in a sort of L shape.

About ten minutes later, I had lost three pawns, one rook and both knights whereas, the funny shrink had lost both rooks and five pawns.

I was most certainly losing but, I didn't care. The game was fun and his queen was in range of my bishop. I couldn't resist laughing like a hyena at the face he had pulled when I finally took away his queen. It was absolutely comical. He looked a bit like the cat from looney tunes after tweety bird had outsmarted him.

After I took the queen things soon began to fall apart for the doc and he lost very quickly. It was absolutely hilarious. So much so that I fell off my chair laughing to the point that i couldn't breathe. 

That's when I had my idea. My plan. It was perfect. I just had to take away the queen of arkham asylum. I just needed to find her.