Aren't territories a werewolf thing?

4. Controlling

His mouth hangs open and he gapes at me. I can see he is definitely thunderstruck. "Uh... um... sure. What brought this on? You wanting to hunt with me, I mean? I thought you'd rather burn in a fire," he said, remembering what I told him earlier.

"I said can I come with you not hunt with you. And you are exactly right about what I'd rather do."

He thinks of what I just said. Finally, he gives up trying to figure it out. "Why are you coming if you're not going to hunt?"

"That is for me to know and for you to try to find out" I say teasingly.

He looks at me quizzically and then shrugs. Soon we set off. He leads and I follow close behind. Then, I smell it, the human, about a mile away. The scent overpowers me and soon I am sprinting ahead of Brandon towards it.

I see a teenage boy kissing his boyfriend and I halt suddenly. This is the reason I didn't come along in the first place. I desire their blood! I hold my breath and stare at them. Brandon catches up to me, glances at me then goes for the humans. I must look really weird gaping at them. If they are out kissing in the jungle, they probably aren't out of the closet yet... Seriously Janelle! You're standing here, barely in control of yourself ,wondering whether the guys have come out or not?!

Before I lose control, I sprint back to our pond and jump in. It always feels so refreshing when I go into that pond. I am proud of myself though. I wanted to kill them so badly but I didn't. Hopefully it gets easier with lots of practice. Hopefully.

Brandon comes back in fifteen minutes, too early to have taken care of the bodies. "What happened there? Your face showed you were in lots of pain. Why didn't you join in? We were lucky this time. There were two, one for me and one for you."

"I told you I did not come with you to kill."

"Then why did you come? To put yourself through excruciating pain?" he interrogates me.

"I told you the reason I came is my business and not yours."

He says nothing. I say nothing. Talk about awkward silence! After a while, he shrugs again.

"Oh well. More for me."

"Disgusting" I mutter under my breath, knowing he would hear.

"I heard that" he says accusingly.

"No chiz."

*******

I kept going with him each time and it gradually got easier. After two months, I don't have to stand completely still or keep myself back by holding onto a tree. I can totally relax my body now. Then the next day when I go with Brandon I decide to watch him feed on the human. I am in total control. I still crave the blood and my throat is still scorching and I'll still have to feed afterwards, but at least I don't move towards him.

When he comes back from burning the body, he talks to me. "I now understand why you wanted to come with me. You wanted to be able to control yourself around humans. You want to leave me here".

My jaw drops. I really need to control that.

He continues "I gotta give you credit though. You don't even look like if you're struggling anymore."

"Look Brandon-" I start to say.

However, he cuts me off. "I get it. You don't wanna be around me anymore." Omg. That's totally not it! He starts to walk away.

I run in front of him and grab his shoulders. "Brandon, please listen to me." He tries to push me away but I hold on. I gaze into his eyes and repeat what I just said, "Listen. To. Me."