Broken Home

seven

- Monday Morning -

I had spent the last two days at Luke's. The guys and Ashlee came over a few times and we got to hangout and watch movies.

I feel like my parents aren't really gone. Like they're on vacation and I'm just staying with Luke. It hurts, though. Knowing that they really are gone and they're not coming back. I've even had nightmares that I was in the car too, that it was my fault that they died.

Luke and his mum began arguing last night about where I would live. Liz wanted me to stay here, but Luke didn't want to leave me here alone with only his brothers and parents.

I was now getting ready for the funeral. I spent all last night crying silently to myself. I don't know why I feel so hurt. I thought that I would feel different, happy maybe? Maybe it's the thought of knowing I have no real family left here.

"Hey. You doing okay?" Luke asks walking into his room where I was sitting on his bed. I just nod my head. "Um, mum says we're going to leave in a few minutes." I don't say anything. I only look out his window. He begins to walk away.

"Luke?" I say, still not looking at him. I see him snap around out of the corner of my eye.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"This really sucks." I manage to choke out through the tears. He make his way over to me, sitting beside me on the bed before wrapping his arms around me.

"I know, I know." He whispers. Without my permission, sobs begin to escape from my lips and tears begin to flow like a waterfall from my eyes. "Shhh, it's going to be okay."

He began to sing the words to Gotta Get Out, one of their first songs.

"And if the earth ends up crumbling down to its knees then baby
We just gotta get out, we just gotta get out
And if the skyscrapers tumble down and crash around baby
We just gotta get out, we just gotta get out"

I pull out of his hug and smile at him. He wipes the tears from my cheeks then cups my face. He begins to move closer as if he's going to kiss me. He pauses before he reaches my lips.

"Uh, we should probably go." I say.

"Right." He says pulling away. "I'll be waiting outside when you're ready." He stands from his bed and walks outside, closing the door on his way.

I go to the bathroom to check my makeup and hair. I didn't really care all too much, though.

I made my way to the living room to see the Hemmings family waiting for me.

"Are you ready, sweetie?" Liz asks.

"Yeah." I smile. She grabs my hand and leads me outside.

"Ben And I will go in my car." Jack says grabbing his keys. Liz and Andrew nod.

Luke and I climb into the backseat of the car while Andrew starts the car and Liz gets into the passenger seat.

We spend the ride to the church in silence. What was there to say to a girl who doesn't have a family?

Once we reached the church, more people were there than I thought. I didn't even think my parents knew or liked this many people, especially my dad.

Luke helped me out of the car and held my hand as we walked into the church.

The second I walk into the building, all eyes were on me. As I walk down the isle, everything went in slow motion. I look around at all of the people looking back at me. Luke places his hand on my back. I look up at him to see him giving me a reassuring smile.

I stop walking before we reach the coffins.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" Luke asks.

"I can't do this." I say looking up at him. "I can't look at my dead parents, Luke. I can't." I feel the tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

Luke pulls me into a hug. One hand around rubbing my back, the other supporting my head. "Shh, it's alright. You don't have to." He says. "C'mon, let's go sit down." Luke pulls out of the hug before grabbing my hand and leading me to our designated seats.

Once we sit down, Luke wraps his arm around my waist and I rest my head on his shoulder.

Soon Calum, Ashton, Michael And Ashlee are sitting on the other side of me, in that order. Calum has his arm wrapped around my shoulder and was rubbing my arm.

The priest stepped behind the pulpit and said some things about how sad it is when loved ones die and other things, but I wasn't paying attention. The preacher called me up, and it took me by surprise. I knew that I was supposed to say something but I didn't expect it to be this soon.

I stand up and shakily make my way up to the pulpit. I pull out the piece of paper that had the words I wanted to say on it. I look at everyone and they're all looking back at me like I'm helpless, even the guys and Ashlee.

"I- um..." I stutter. "I'm sorry." I whisper before running out of the church. I have no clue where I'm running, I'm just running.

I run to the park that my parents used to take me to when I was little and they were happy.

I sit on the swing that mom and dad used to push me on. I slowly begin to swing and all of the memories from my childhood come flooding back.

Why me? Why did my family have to be the one to fall apart? Why did my home have to be the broken one?

"Mags?" A familiar voice says. I instantly know who it is because of the nickname. I don't say anything I just turn around to see Luke standing there, hands in his suit pockets. I turn back around and just let the tears fall. "That, that's the swing isn't it?" He asks. I still don't say anything, I just lower my head and sob.

Luke comes in front of me, bends down on his knees and grabs my hands.

"Mags. Look at me." He says. I don't. One of his hands reaches under my chin and he tilts my head up towards him. "Hey, talk to me." He says. I hadn't noticed before, but Luke was crying too. He still was.

"I'm so sorry." I say.

He pulls me into a hug. "It's not your fault." He says. The shakiness of his voice only cause me to cry more. I hated seeing him hurt like this. Luke and I are the type of people that hold every thing together until one day when we just explode. Today was that day for the both of us.

So, there we sat, crying together in the park that used to be the source of our happiness, but is now the reminder of brokenness.