somewhere | b.blake ✔️

2x06✔️

I'm fighting for love
'Cause love is the only thing I feel
I'm fighting for us
'Cause you are the only thing that's real

- Fighting for Love, Dami Im

*****
One day ago...

Ash remembers the first time she met Finn on the roof of the drop-ship. Their companions scattered across the ground below, excited to explore this strange, new planet they were now free on, but Finn and Ash had climbed up for a moment of quiet. It was a chance meeting, but it was the start of a bond that, in their world, could mean survival.

At the time, they were just two kids who broke the laws of the Ark to protect and avenge the ones they loved. Ash had been imprisoned for her parents, Finn for a crime born of recklessness and desire for justice. Both were ready to die for their causes if it came to that. They shared an unspoken understanding of the risks they had taken and the costs of their actions. On the drop-ship, there was still hope in their eyes, dreams of making a life on Earth that didn't involve the harsh choices of the Ark.

But Earth had other plans. The more time they spent on the ground, the more the weight of survival warped their ideals. War and violence transformed them. Ash had grown stronger, more hardened. She learned to fight fiercely for the people she cared about, but always tried to cling to the belief that she didn't need to kill recklessly to survive. She fought to remain someone her loved ones could still look up to.

Finn, on the other hand, became someone else entirely. He was once the peacemaker, the boy who tried to negotiate with the Grounders, the boy who had brought people together. But war took its toll. After he was stabbed by a Grounder, Finn grew more withdrawn, colder, and more detached. He became capable of murder in the name of what he thought was protection. Ash could still see him, standing in that Grounder village, mowing down innocent people, not even hesitating. The Finn she knew—the Finn she once trusted—was gone.

Ash recounts this change to Smith one evening as they spar outside camp. Sweat drips down her face as she swings a wooden sword toward Smith's shoulder, narrating the tale of the massacre.

"There was a boy... no older than 15. Four bullets lodged in his chest, and his parents had to watch as Finn shot them if they so much as moved. I couldn't stop it. None of us could." Ash grimaces, driving her sword forward with more force than necessary.

Smith parries easily, his dark eyes somber. "It's not your fault, Ash."

Ash shakes her head, stepping back and lowering her weapon, catching her breath. "I was supposed to help keep the peace, like he used to... before all this." She looks away, embarrassed by the crack in her voice.

Smith's gaze softens, and he drops his stance. "When the Commander finds out about Finn's massacre... there will be consequences. Death by a thousand cuts."

Ash lets out a bitter laugh. "Peace by death? Who have we all become?" Her voice rises as she resumes their sparring, frustration fueling each swing of her sword. The weight of everything—the deaths, the battles, the endless fight for survival—drains her of reason.

"We've become who we need to be," Smith replies softly, expertly dodging her next blow. "To survive." He watches her closely, seeing the anger and sadness in her eyes. "But don't let it consume you, Ash. You're fighting to forget, and that's not going to help."

Breathing heavily, Ash stops, her hands trembling slightly from the exertion. "How long, Smith? How long before surviving means losing who we are?"

Smith sighs, setting his sword down. "I don't know. But as long as I'm here, you don't have to lose yourself completely."