Complicated Love (Divergent Peter Fanfic)

Why Can't We Go There

I usually have no problems waking up early in the morning, but not today. When Peter woke me up at seven sharp, not only had I been snoring but I had also been drooling. My training with Eric had killed me and the second my head had touched the pillow last night, I passed out. Now, feeling Peter shake me into consciousness, all I wanted to do was cry. I was so tired that I could have slept all day.

Nonetheless I woke up, wiped the drool on my chin and sleepily walked to the dining room, not caring that I wasn’t wearing a bra because I fell asleep in one of Peter’s sweater which was huge on me. If anybody was going to give me a weird look I would annihilate them right in front of everyone. I was not in the mood this morning.

I sat down with a grunt in front of Drew who raised his eyebrows once he saw me. “Wow, what time did you go to bed at? You look like shit,”

I glared at him and if looks could kill, he would be dead right now. “Shut up, Drew, I’m not in the mood whatsoever.”

He quickly nodded and I got back to the bagels in front of me. I grabbed one and applied some strawberry jam before devouring it. Peter and Molly arrived not long after and Peter sat next to me. He didn’t need to ask why I had just walked out of the dorm room, he already knew why. I had done that a couple times during school days where I was just out of it. Instead of trying to engage me in the conversation, he just rested his hand on my thigh while he ate.

When we were all done eating, I was a lot more awake. It was eight by the time we exited the dining room.

“Hey, why don’t you guys go ahead and I’ll go get dressed. We’ll meet you at the train before eight fifteen.” I said as I grabbed Peter’s hand a slowly lead him towards the dorm room. Both Molly and Drew nodded before we went our separate ways.

I was surprised to find the dorm room empty except for me and Peter. I went towards the drawer beside my bunk bed and grabbed a bra. I put it on without removing the sweater with complete success, much to Peter’s annoyance. I only rolled my eyes at him.

It was only after I put on my bra that I took off the sweater. When I threw Peter’s sweater on his bed, I felt a presence right behind me before I knew it, I got turned around and pushed down on the bed. Peter soon followed suit and climbed on top of me. His lips found mine in no time and I didn’t resist kissing him back. I was still in my bra, much to Peter’s pleasure as his hands roamed my body.

He pulled away from my lips before he connected them to my skin right under my ear, slowly making his way down to my collarbone, one of his hands resting firmly on my hip as his other supported his weight beside my head.

It seemed to finally hit me that we had to be at the train in less than ten minutes. This caused me to get up with a start, startling Peter.

“Peter, why did you do that? We have to at the train in not even ten minutes!” I said frantically as I got off the bed and looked for a shirt to wear.

He flopped down with a groan on the bed. After a couple seconds, he looked back at me. “It’s just, we’ve been dating for a long time now, and we still haven’t gone, like you know, there. I mean, most of my other friends in Candor passed that stage of the relationship after not even five months of dating.” He grabbed my hand so I could look at him. “We’ve been dating for almost a year now. What’s making it so hard to actually go to the next stage? Are you scared that I might leave you after? ‘Cause if that’s the case, forget about that right now because I love you more than anything and I want to show you that.”

I looked down at my feet at what he was trying to tell me. It’s not that I didn’t love Peter, quite the contrary. It’s just, I wasn’t ready. I know that it’s stupid to not be ready to sleep with someone else, especially after a good, solid ten months of being together. I was just not ready.