Today's the day that mom leaves for japan so she's spending as much time with me as possible until she leaves. Brendon has been hanging out with Dallon a lot, and i think he might like Bren, not that i'm jealous. i just wish he wouldn't stare at Bren when he's here with me, even tho he probably only cares because he pities me, But it's fine. Im fine.
Sarah has been calling Bren my boyfriend more often, not that i'm complaining. "Honey i have to go now, but i love you, and you better stay alive for the next three months, okay?" she joked and hugged me goodbye. Just then Brendon walked in, hand and hand with Dallon they sat down together, like they have the past week. Brendon started the conversation with "hey Ryan, did you take your pills today?" i nodded touching my thinner hair. there's less and less everyday now. "i have something to tell you-"
Sarah came back from her treatment to see Brendon "BEEBO! Your here to save Ryan from the evil hair eating dragon!" she yelled in happiness and jumped on him laughing "Beebo will you come with me to get food from the cafeteria, i'm hungry" " Dall you don't mind staying here, do you?" he shook his head "no, i'm fine." they left the room.
"So... how are you Ryan?" i didn't want to answer cause i felt like crying, i felt ugly and weak, i have random bruises on me from god knows where, i'm always tired, i weigh almost nothing, i have weird red spots on parts of my skin, and yesterday my nose bleed for no reason.
But despite not wanting to cry it happened anyway like i have no control over anything anymore. i couldn't stop, all the things i was strong about before came pouring out of my eyes, my dads death, Tyler moving, my cancer, Brendon liking someone else. "I'm sorry if what i said made you upset" Dallon spoke rushed and guilty. I shook my head "it's not your fault, it's me" i spoke low
"hey! we're back, and- oh my god Ryan what's wrong." i wiped my eyes "nothing i'm fine." i spoke, my voice shaking. "Do you want my yogurt?" Sarah asked, i shook my head again "okay, no offense, but Beebo and dally, you have to leave i should talk with my client." she spoke as she pushed them out the door, pull the blind down and locked it. '
What's wrong Ryan." i stayed silent "say a thing ,leave a thing said? i say something that's upsetting me then you say something upsetting you." "you first" "well, my mom's not coming to visit me cause she's mad that my cancer broke up the family." i questioned her " after my father found out that i have cancer he started staying out more and more until one day i saw him pack up to live with his new 'girlfriend' the only times i see him is when he's begging my mom for money, But it's okay he was a bad dad he did a lot of drugs and stuff."
"mine isn't even worth crying about compared to that, i'm upset that my my best friend moved last year, my dad dying when i was 15, and that Bren might be dating Dallon." she nodded she got up and hugged me and started crying "it's okay Ryan well make it threw this together, it's not your fault that this happened" i stroked her hair "it's not your fault ether Sarah" "your like the big brother i never had. promise me you'll never leave, that you'll always be here for me." i looked down at her "only if you promise me first." after that me and Sarah had a very new understanding of each other.
YOU ARE READING
If Looks Could Kill, I'd Be Dead.
Fanfiction" if looks could kill..." "If looks could kill?" " then i would be dead, Ryan" Ryan has cancer and Bren is trying to help him get through it but it keeps getting worse no matter how hard they try. Brendon x cancer Ryan no art is mine its all by way...
