If Looks Could Kill, I'd Be Dead.

stage 17

Today is the last day of June and Tyler and josh are leaving. They both have college to prepare for and i never even made applications for one. This was before i was hospitalized i had no life plans i didn't have anything i was interested in, my art nor writing was good enough, for a while i wanted to do makeup but that was a road that led to a dead end, i wanted to sing songs but i hate my voice i like biology but had bad grades.

No one not even Tyler knows i don't have any college plans while Dallon got into Harvard and Tyler, Yale and there leaving in a few weeks. I don't know if Brendon got into college or not but i hope he did.

speaking of Brendon i've been meaning to ask him why i've never seen any of his family at his house. At the sleepover and the first time i was there. But i guess it doesn't matter Tyler is leaving and i'm waiting for Dal and b to come get me. They were a little late because they were getting Jon and Spencer wanted to tag along. But we arrived at the airport and i ran to hug Tyler "Tyler i'm going to miss you so so much, you're literally my best friend in the world," i heard Brendon cough in annoyance "your my second best friend Brendon," i stated and he smiled proudly.

i let go of Tyler and hugged josh too and there flight was called for boarding we all waved goodbye as they left to get on the plane. After that getting back to the hospital was a blur of scenes that weren't memorable i got to my room and sat down on the empty bed in the empty room and felt nothing everything felt different everything hit at once like it didn't happen till now and i started to cry.

"...Sarah..." i whispered to the empty bed beside me i walk over to her bed and laid my face in the sheets, they were completely wiped clean of her memories they didn't smell like her all her cute toys and sketch books were gone the only thing left was her camera. She was gone. the reality hit me, i wouldn't see here day brightening smile or hear her funny puns any more i cried harder.

I fell asleep on her bed and i was okay with that.

I was awoken later to someone stroking my hair. I looked up to see Brendon...just Brendon. "Hey." 'hi" i replied again "where's Dallon?" a sad smile played on his face "he starting his packing...can i ask you something?" i nodded "d-do you think that me and Dallon are going to stay together after he leaves?" i thought and pondered on this

"well i would say yes but it really depends on you and him, if you feel your relationship isn't strong enough then there are other problems beside distance." i spoke honestly he nodded "i feel like he's going to break up with me..." there was an uncomfortable silence "then prepare, if you really do feel this way then maybe it's justified, but i would say talk to him about it maybe its just your imagination, but also don't stay in the relationship if your not happy." i told him.

that's the best i can give him i've never been in a relationship so thats all i really have. "Thanks ry, who knows maybe it is just my imagination."he smiled do you want to hang out tonight i don't want to be alone with my thoughts." "sure what time is it" "5:45" okay cool just give me a second i changed my shirt and pants and told him we could leave when he's ready. Then i grabbed my pills and we left.