A collection of thoughts

the lonely truth

this is the truth, the sad, lonely truth. i spend countless days fabricating fantasies in my head. wishing to be somewhere else, either high in a mountains or on a beach. the truth of it all is that it's not possible, so i settle. i settle on not returning, but being comfortable. i've learned so much about myself recently that going back scares me. from the first moment away, i realized how depressed I was. back them would i have admitted that, no. now i can say it but at the cost of my sanity. i don't want to be micromanaged, i don't want to be put under a harsh light and asked questions, i want to be free. i want to run away for a while so i can understand. i want to feel better without the fear of being sick again. i want a moment away from it all to, to just take a breath. the sad truth is, it will never happen.