Limitations

One

I was used to a lot of things. I was used to being one of the only girls in my neighborhood, and I was used to having three brothers. I knew to expect that we wouldn't get to eat everyday, and I knew to expect that Mom, Dad, and Darry would be busy all the time.

My oldest brother, Darry, hadn't been able to go to college, even though he really deserved to. He had to stay behind and help Mom and Dad support me and my other two brothers, Soda and Pony.

Me and Pony were twins, and we shared a room together.

So I was used to all that.

But one thing I would never have expected was that my parents were going to die when I was thirteen.

We had gotten the phone call, and everything was silent for the rest of the day. Not even Soda was cracking jokes. Nobody knew what to say. Was there even anything that could be said in a situation like that?

I spent the whole day crying. We all did, actually.

I was sitting on my bed, my knees drawn up to my chest and leaning back against turn wall. Pony walked in and his eyes were red.

"Hey." He said quietly.

A smile was all I could muster up, even if I could barely manage it. I was always the happy one in our family. Of all our friends, really. When someone was sad, they came to me to cheer them up. I always put on a mask of being happy, even if it wasn't how I really felt.

I had grown used to faking happiness for my friends sakes, even if it tired me out.

He sat next to me, and we didn't talk at all, just sat in silence.

.

My shoes were soaked from the snow, and my hands and face felt numb. Everything felt numb.

My hands were shoved deep in my pockets as I stood next to Pony. It was snowing again. We listened to the priest go on about who even knows what. Did anyone ever listen to what priests said at funerals?

After what felt like years, the caskets were lowered into the graves. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Or cry. Or both.

"Are you okay?" Pony asked me that night when I was sitting on my bed, reading. We had two twin beds in our room, up in the corners by the windows. My half of the room had the closet, and Pony had the dresser. I also had a desk on my side, and he had a bookshelf.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You seem... off." He frowned.

"I'm fine." I said, but I couldn't look him in the eye.

"Ruby," Pony insisted. "C'mon."

"I'm fine, I swear," I said, but he didn't believe me.

Thankfully he didn't press any further. "Fine. If you say so."

"I do say so." I said, folding the page of the book I was reading. "Now it's late. Go to bed, loser."

"Oh, ha ha." He rolled his eyes and then snatched my book out of my hands and tossed it on the desk. "'Night, loser."