The Memoriam Files: Hearts ✔

| Chapter 32, After

|Did you see the flares in the sky?

|Flares, The Script

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Dawn's P.O.V.

The echo of the gunshot bounced around in my head. I hadn't closed my eyes, watching every second of it play out before me, like a never ending nightmare.

The world seemed to slow down around me as he fell backwards, the life out of his body before he had even hit the ground.

Slowly I managed to stand from my curled up position on the ground. My heart was beating painfully loud in my ears. The pain in my shoulder didn't even feel real. As if I had surpassed such mundane things as feeling pain.

My feet carried me towards his body, my knees giving in as soon as I reached him. My entire body was shaking, like a cold shiver coming from inside of me, from where his warm light had been. I reached out, placing my hand on his cheek, the whole situation felt so surreal. Then with my other hand I closed his eyes.

I stared at him.

It didn't feel real.

Like he was asleep.

And would open his eyes soon.

To smile at me.

And tell me he loved me.

To be happy.

Even though he never really was.

I could only hope he was now.

And that thought made all the pain come rushing back at me, as if suddenly being punched in the face. Paniced gasps escaped my mouth, my chest rising and falling way too quickly. I couldn't breathe, my entire body was shaking as tears streamed down my face. My eyes hurt but it was nothing compared to the painful empty void inside of me.

A hand pulled at my arm but I tried to shake it off. My eyes glued to Newt his face as I shook his lifeless body, as if that would somehow bring him back. Tears were falling like a waterfall down my cheeks, leaving small circles on Newt his stained shirt from where they fell.

Another gasp left my lips as I desperately tried to breathe, but I simply couldn't. Even a thing as simple as breathing suddenly felt like an impossible task to me.

Again the hand pulled at my arm, harder this time. A scream left my lips as I pulled away again, holding on tightly unto Newt his body. Every bone in my body praying he would somehow, some way, just open his eyes. I needed him to look at me. Just look at me.

Two hands came this time, pulling hard and I was forced to let go, not enough strength in my body to keep resisting.

I let myself be pulled along, my eyes forever staying on Newt his body as my throat become raw from screaming. Screaming like a lunatic, in a way that I never knew I could, but I was too numb to be startled by the sound coming out my mouth.

I was thrown into the van, the doors closing, taking Newt his body out of sight. A startled gasp left my lips as the van shot forwards, taking me away from the only person who made all of this matter.

This was what he wanted. From the start this had been his wish. The only thing he had ever wanted for himself. But then why did it feel so wrong? Why did it still feel like I betrayed him somehow?

I turned away from the door, crawling into a little ball as the van shook around me. I was silent now, no more screaming, no more paniced breathing. I couldn't tell what was worse.

Closing my eyes his face appeared in my mind and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't picture him smiling. I couldn't remember his eyes looking down at me with so much love I could feel my heart melting. I couldn't picture the determined look painted on his face when we made a plan, to safe our friends and to fight for freedom. All I could see were his eyes, wild, insane and broken.

His eyes burned into my mind, hauting me even as we drove through the streets and reached the small airport, as we drove through the enormous door of the hanger, as we boarded the Berg, as we stepped outside the van and all went our own way. The pilot went to fire up the big ship. Lawrence disappeared somewhere. Thomas fell down on a couch, staring with empty eyes up at the ceiling.

I sat down next to him, Newt his eyes still flashing through my mind, fading in and out but never fully gone. I didn't think they ever would. His haunted look of raw and terrifying madness would never truly leave me. And maybe some insane part of me didn't even want it to. At least this way something of him would stick with me, would keep me going, because right now, nothing mattered. Even the thought of flying towards Wicked right now and going to take them down wasn't enough to at least make me stop crying. Nothing would ever be enough again.

I must have fallen asleep some time during the trip because I was roughly pulled out of the comforting nothingness by Lawrence. My eyes hurt as I opened them, just like my stomach and my throat. A dull throbbing pain that plagued me.

His eyes scanned me, checking to see if I was truly awake before moving on to wake Thomas. 'Rise and shine, kids. We'll be there in a few minutes. We're dropping your butts, then getting the hell out of here. No offense.'

'None taken,' Thomas replied, his voice flat and completely emotionless. I doubted mine would sound any different if I would dare to use it. 'How far do we have to walk?'

'A few miles. Don't worry, I don't think you'll have too many Cranks to deal with, it's gotten cold in the wilderness. Might see an angry moose, though. Wolves might try to bite your leg of. Nothing much.'

My heart beated painfully in my chest as I forced myself to listen through Lawrence his stream of words.

'Your coats and backpacks are waiting for you at the cargo door. You've got food and water. We want to make sure you have a nice, enjoyable hike. Relish the joy of nature and all that,' Lawrence went on.

Was he done talking?

'Thanks,' Thomas muttered.

I didn't even try to gather the strength to force words out of my mouth.

Lawrence gave a curt nod and walked to the door but turned around at the very last moment. 'I'm only going to ask you both this once.'

'What?'

'You sure about this? Everything I know about these people is rotten. They kidnap, they torture, murder, do anything to get what they want. Seems crazy to just let you two waltz in there like this.'

'We'll be fine, just make sure you come back,' Thomas responded, his voice hollow.

Lawrence shook his head. 'You're either the bravest kid I've ever met or plain crazy.' Then he turned and left the room.

Once his footsteps had faded away, Thomas around to look at me, his eyes were filled with an awful amount of guilt and an even worse amount of grief. He walked towards me, making me want to turn around and run away. He put his hands on my shoulder, making a shiver run down my spine, leaving me almost feeling feverish.

'Dawn?' He whispered my name, making my eyes hesitantly look up to his. 'We're okay right?' He whispered, his voice sounding so incredibly broken.

I didn't answer.

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I honestly hated writing this so much. Newt is gone guys and it seems like Dawn will not be able to handle it all that wel...but then again, are any of us able to handle Newt's death?

The next few chapters are gonna be awesome but painful as well. I can't believe this story is almost over and the last fight is has finally arrived. Klunk is gonna go down.

Please vote or comment guys, it would mean a lot to me!

xXx
UYM