Letters from Luke

note eleven.

Damn babe.

11 weeks have already past since my first letter i've ever sent you. 

It's starting to get cold here a little bit. Stupid weather. 

Your mother talked me yesterday. She told me that you were away in college, but she's been sending you the letters. I didn't really want to talk about you because I know that I'll just get mad at myself again. 

As much as I didn't want to talk about you, your mother surely did. 

She said that you were doing good in your school for a few months, but something odd happened. Your perfect straight a's dropped down to c's and lower. But the weird thing she told me was that whenever she started recieving my letters and sent them to your college mailing address, your grades started improving ever since. 

I'm proud of you. 

I wanted to ask her why you didn't write back to me yet.

She said she didn't know why, but she knew deep down that you will one day. 

Your dad came home from work when I was eating a snack your mom made me. It was really good so I kind of ate the whole thing. 

Your dad told me that you were having troubles in college. You had the whole dorm room to yourself so you didn't have any roommates or anything. Maybe I'll fly to your dorm and surprise you with a giant teddy bear. 

Sometimes you called your parents late at night crying. It made me sad when they told me that because you used to call me when you were crying. Your parents didn't know how to make you stop crying. I did. 

You needed someone to be there with you; to hold you close and tell you that everything will be okay soon. I know you don't feel like calling me or anything, but maybe I can help you get yourself on track again.

But when they said something horrible happened to you, it hit me so fucking hard in the face.

Two months ago you were drinking and driving around campus with your friends. A guy was driving and you were in the passenger seat along with your friends in the back.

The guy was drunk off his ass. His mind was spinning as he was driving on the freeway. One minute later, he closed his eyes for five seconds.

I can't even continue.

The car got involved in a crash along with five other cars.

 Your parents said you were going to be okay. But you can't remember certain things. 

Certain things involving me.

I mean, you can remember me as a person, but you don't remember some things of me. Like my favorite music, favorite food, basically the small details. 

At that point I just started crying in your living room. Your mom and dad comforted me saying that your alright now and I shouldn't worry much. 

I almost lost it when they told me to move on. 

I can't move on that's the thing. 

I still miss your cracky voice in the morning,

your small little dimples on your cheeks,

and the sound of you laughing at my lame corny jokes. 

But your birthday is coming soon!

I'm planning a surprise for you so I'm not telling you.

Anyways, I have to stop writing and go eat some pizza so I'll write you another letter next week. 

I just wanted to say that when your having rough times and feel like the world is being an ass, just read through my letters alright? Maybe they'll make you smile. 

Soon you'll forget all of me. 

And I knew that was going to happen. Remember what I told you on the last letter?

But don't worry. I won't forget you. 

Smile you little freak!

I love you.

Sincerely,

Letters from Luke.