Letters from Luke

note ten.

Okay, I apologize for the last letter I sent you. 

Even though Ashton told me not to write and send these to you, I realized that the only way of me getting through all of this is to write out my feelings and memories to you so they can get out of my head eventually. 

Hell, I'm hiding from Ashton right now because I promised not to write anymore.

I'm hiding in a public bathroom. 

Don't laugh at me.

It's just that I've been thinking about this for days now. I'm used to having that broken wooden pencil in my hand, mini yellow note pad on my lap, and headphones in my ears as I listen to the music we used to listen together. 

Sometimes I can't even get through the day without writing a letter. It's becoming a routine for me now. 

Even if you are reading my letters, and that beautiful smile is smiling as you read my letters, or hell even if its an old man reading my letters, I hope you do comprehend that each letter has a meaning. 

But then again if you're that old man reading my letters, can you please stop reading them and send them back to the mailing office? Because it's extremely disturbing to think of it. 

I mean, you don't have to send them back. You can keep them and maybe one day if you find that beautiful girl I've been talking about through my letters, then you can give them to her. Whatever floats your boat, old man. 

Alright, I'll stop talking about the guy and talk about you now. 

We flew back to Australia yesterday and I was excited to go back home because I missed my family. I've been feeling home sick for a few days now, and it sucks. Remember the time I had to leave for tour for the first time and you tried your hardest to make me stay?

Damnit, I was so close to miss my flight to LA. 

You stood there by the entrance of the airport with one of my suitcases with you. I was speed walkng from the taxi cab thinking you were following behind me. When I glanced back to see if you were dolng alright with pulling the suitcase, your little ass was still outside standing there awkwardly. 

I didn't want to leave you.

You knew that. 

I bit my lip staring at you. The way you shut yourself down and your eyes getting watery, I knew you were going to break down. 

You cheekily smiled at me though. 

I laughed, shaking my head as I walked back to get you. 

I hugged you so tight when I went back to you. You whispered something that made me want to cry inside. You said, "Please don't forget me. I know you will someday, but just don't forget me now, okay?"

How could I forget you? 

(As kind of cheesy this may sound) You were everything to me. 

When we broke away from our hug, tears have already soaked through my shoulder. I took my thumbs and wiped the tears away from your cheeks. "Stop crying, idiot. It's going to be bad if I'm crying on the airplane." 

You laughed at me which made you cry even harder. 

When you got yourself together and stopped tearing, you helped me get my things inside the airport and check in. Again, your little ass tried to delay my trip by walking extra slow with my luggage. 

But then I had to move on in the airport where you couldn't come with me. You stood there staring at me. 

I hugged you one last time before placing a small kiss to your forehead. 

"It's going to be the other way around, love." I told you.

"What do you mean?" you asked. 

"Your the one who's going to forget me." I whispered. 

As much as I wanted to stop myself from crying and saying goodbye, I cried as I walked away from you. I wanted to look back and run to you, but I couldn't. Looking back at your face would make me chicken out of the tour. 

Through the corner of my eyes, I knew you couldn't handle it either so you left. 

Alright, sorry this is so fucking sad it's like watching one of your chick flick movies that actually makes me cry.

I ran back to you and hugged you for the third time because I couldn't get enough of your hugs. 

People were staring at us, and I kind of wanted to slap them and flip them off because it was kind of envading our love privacy. 

But I had less than an hour to get ready and get my passport checked. This time I did leave and didn't look back. 

I sat next to a girl around my age and she reminded me of you a lot. 

She was shy at first, but then again you were shy as hell when I met you.

She laughed at all my jokes even though they weren't funny.

She even read the same type of books you read. 

I'm kidding, I was sitting next to an old man, but he was really nice. 

I've been sitting in this public bathroom for a long ass time now. I could hear Calum's voice screaming my name. Shit.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Letters from Luke.