Suicidal Seven

Jason~Promise

Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

It was Jason's watch. No one knew what was eating at Jason from the inside out. He'd struggled with depression from a young age. A promise was a trigger for him. His life was built on a false promise. From the moment his mom gave him up, promising she'd be back for him someday, he did everything in his power to avoid promises. But 'everything in his power' was never enough.

And there was nothing he hated more than backing out of a promise. It was his worst fear, his fatal flaw. He simply couldn't handle being cheated out of something. Yet it seemed all too often that very thing happened.

He would calmly excuse himself to his cabin on the ship, or his quarters at Camp. He'd find himself in a ball in the corner of the room sobbing. Some would call it a panic attack. He called it a promise. Because in his mind, nothing was forever. Nothing but this promise of pain.

But it wasn't always about the promise itself. It was usually the paralyzing fear that it would be broken.

After a senate meeting, one where Octavian was being particularly arrogant, Jason had lost it. He managed to keep it together until it was over. He couldn't be freaking out as praetor in front of the whole senate. He managed to make it to the back room before collapsing in a heap.

Reyna was there that time. She seemed to understand the problem and talked him threw it, telling him to breathe.

He'd somehow managed to convince her that it was a one time occurrence, and has been dealing with them alone since.

It was one of those days where everything reminded him of his mom. This happened every once in awhile. For instance, at lunch, Leo was joking around and asked his magic goblet for champagne. "Dam it, it's the kid stuff. Oh well," he said with a shrug, tipping it back and downing the whole thing, acting drunk for the next hour. Everyone else thought it was hilarious, except maybe Percy.

Jason, on the other hand, was just trying to focus on breathing.

And then later he heard the word. The word that sent everything down a tightening spiral.

"Perseus Jackson, did you take my knife?" Annabeth yelled from somewhere in the ship. Percy winked at me, twirling said knife around his fingers. "No, I promise!" He had yelled back.

So Jason stood on the railing on the Argo II. They were traveling over land at the moment, so Percy couldn't break this promise. Jason promised himself that he wouldn't catch himself. A fall from that height...well it just might suffice.

The wind ripped through his clothes, chilling him. He glanced over the edge, seeing the ground far below. He lifted one foot, stepping into open air, the winds keeping him balanced. But then he heard footsteps. He stepped back onto the railing and turned to see Piper sleepily walking onto the deck.

"Hey, Jase, it's my watch now. You can go to bed and-" She stopped upon seeing him on the railing. "Jason?"

He was shaking from the cold and the fear and the hurt. "Jason, get down from there please." He shook his head, trying to step back before remembering where he was. He windmilled his arms, too lost in his fear to use the winds. But Piper was there and she grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him toward her and down from the railing. 

Piper went in for a hug, wrapping him up tight in her arms. Jason practically collapsed, sobbing, into her. They both settled on the deck, backs against the rail.

"Jason, why didn't you tell me? You know I'll understand. I pro-"

"Please don't," he interrupted miserably. "Huh?" Piper asked, confused. "Please don't promise."

"Oh," Piper whispered, finally understanding the problem. "Well I won't brake it. I'm here, okay Jase? Whenever you need."

He nodded and that's how they sat for the entirety of Piper's watch. Jason fell asleep on her shoulder, but Piper was awake when the sun rose and when Leo rose with it to steer the ship.