Tic Toc

One

Remington
Nevada
Park Bench

I remember very well the first time I watched a lover die. I was merely seven and had not yet grasped the concept of a ticking watch. Sure, I'd seen people looking at their watch in worry, or sometimes frantically. But it never hit me that this was serious. Not until that day.

I was sitting by this tree, nearly invisible to passersby if they weren't paying attention. A boy not much younger than I am now walked by and took a seat on the bench in front of me. He looked upset.

It reminded me of mom when I broke her Christmas platter.

He removed the watch from around his neck and opened it up. He seemed to go into a sort of fit. At the time, my seven year old mind didn't understand that he was having a panic attack. I watched him start to hyperventilate before bursting into tears. In a couple seconds a loud click came from his watch as he stood up. Just as quicky, he keeled over dead.

There was no dramatic exit. No clutching his chest in pain. Just...
Click.

Now I sit on the same bench. I'm not sure what I expected to find here. I knew there wouldn't be a trace of that boy. And I was certain I wouldn't find my love in my hometown or else I would have found him by now. At least, I hope it's a him. There was no way of being sure. Regardless, I don't know why I came back to this bench.

Seemingly for the billionth time, I took out my watch and studied it. It wasn't round and gold like many of them. Instead, it was square and black, almost like a box, and dangled from a black chain. Intricate designs surrounded it's edges while a lock shaped clasp held it shut. Although the outside was unusual, it was the inside that made it one of a kind.

With the faint sense of panic I always had whenever I looked at it, I popped the watch open. I didn't look at the ticking hands, not at first. Instead I let my gaze travel to the engraved letter C inside. It was fancy and swirly. This too was out of the ordinary; never before has there been a letter on a watch. My eyes drifted to the sword shaped hands ticking backwards. Counting back the time I had left to the very second. There were only about two months left to find my lover. To be exact, two months, three days, four hours, and twenty seconds.

I remember thinking when I was younger that it would be easy to find my other other half with a watch that stood out like this. I thought that within a day I would have found the man of my dreams and we would have a happy ending. I didn't realize that having a standard watch would be easier because everyone had one like that. I also didn't realize my sexual status would play a big role in my search. I had assumed that I would be looking for a man. I assumed that every watch was fitted to the owner's preference. Not until it was too late did I realize it didn't work like that. If it had, then my mother wouldn't be married to someone who hated her. My brothers and I wouldn't be the products of an unwanted relationship.
So now I sit here and stare at my watch.
I often wonder about my lover.
What color are his eyes? How tall is he? Does he like the same music I do?
So many questions float around my head. So many thoughts. But there's one that bothers me the most.
Does he think about me?

"Remington."
The familiar voice jolted me out of my thoughts.
I gasped before breathing out a chuckle. Me eyes refocused to see that she was standing right in front of me, her long black hair pulled into double french braids. She wore a black hoodie paired with red plaid pants and the gothest boots I've ever seen.
She was everything in me that people hated.
Her light brown eyes were bemused at having startled me, a smirk painting her lips.

"Alex," I play scolded. "My watch is already ticking. No need to give me a heart attack."

"Just wanted to give you a head start is all." She replied.